BenAnnas for Max

Oh my GAW I'm updating

2012-01-21T22:35:00.000-06:00

No "resolution"... no excuse. Just a statement of "I'm back".
Hoping to do updates more often, though with FB being as easy as it is (and right on my phone) most of the updates go there. I guess I just feel like, why blog when I can update FB in a few seconds? I'm not sure...

So for now, a few "this day last year" pictures, his new "look ma, no hands!" obsession, and a picture of my nudie watching the Justin Beiber movie. Admitting it. Loved it. That kid is seriously talented.

During Peter Pan rehearsals. My little papoose :)

The most talented.

"I am a baby, baby, baby OOOOOOHH!!!"

This time last year...

2011-08-01T21:46:00.000-05:00

... We were anxiously awaiting Max's arrival; I had just left L&D for what would be the first time in three days. I'd been having contractions and was not progressing, but knew he'd come before his due date of 8/11. I remember dreaming about what he would look like, would he have hair, how big he would be, etc., and was just SO ANXIOUS to meet him.

And here I sit, one year later, with a huge little nugget sprawled out in his bed after a quick snuggle; he's become quite independent when going to sleep, so anytime he will get sweet, I'll take it. His legs now hang off the the side of the rocking chair, and his hand usually grabs onto a part of my shirt... or my hair... or, wait for it... my bra (he's such a boy); his little mouth falls open just enough so I can see his newly developing buck tooth, and his sweet little (soy) milky breath is just about enough to do me in.

A far cry from last year's inability to do, um, anything, he can now crawl faster than I can usually walk, climb stairs faster than we can chase him up them, and he just started walking with his little push toys- simultaneously thrilling and maddening as he can't figure out how to go backwards, so when he gets stuck, he just stands there and yells.

He says more than I've ever heard a one year old say, and repeats vocal inflection in a way that makes us realize he ACTUALLY understands what we are saying. He is terrifyingly smart, and I'm pretty sure it's not just because he's my kid.

A year ago, I had no idea what I was going to do for work; I now work for a company I'd always hoped to work for, and they are as supportive of my family and my title of Mama as I ever could have dreamed.

My life is a million times different, a million times harder, a million times more complicated, and an infinite number of times BETTER because MAX THOMAS is in it. I am grateful where I came from, and I NEVER want to go back to life without Max. I love you buddy.

In denial... and other reasons why I've sucked at blogging

2011-07-14T20:31:00.000-05:00

So I started blogging because... well... I don't really know why.

Maybe to share thoughts and feelings; though many of my unfiltered posts never make it on here anyway...
Maybe to share pictures... though I mostly update Facebook as Blogger has serious issues with speed...
Maybe to keep a 'journal' of our daily goings on... but well, let's be honest. I never update.

So when I had Max, I was determined to use it as a way to document his life; to, at very least, sit down each month and write a letter to him remembering how the month went. I was always told the first year flies by, and I wanted to have a written memory of my thoughts and feelings.

But as he got older, I started updating less.

I used to take a picture of him each week to document how he's grown. When he hit 10-ish months, I think I thought that if I stopped taking pictures, then maybe he'd stop growing.

I wrote him a letter until about two months ago, and I think I stopped because I knew that if I acknowledged another month had gone by, the speed with which our lives were passing would be too much for me to handle.

And here I sit, three weeks from his FIRST BIRTHDAY, and I am in awe, denial, and utter amazement. Awe at how much things have changed since just one year ago- last year, I was eagerly anticipating his arrival. Beyond impatient, in fact. We had just finished our settlement with Alcon, so even though I wasn't working, we could breathe for a bit. Last year, I was in what felt like a season of waiting, of not knowing.

Today, I am sitting at the kitchen table of the apartment I will live in for 2+ more weeks while I am at training for my new job with Eli Lilly. My dream job. Ben and Max are both here as Lilly FULLY supports keeping Mom's and baby's together, even when the Mom has to be away. They have given me my own apartment for the stay so Max can be here with me. We just had a leisurely dinner outside on this beautiful evening, and of course Max delighted everyone he saw. We got back and took a nice long bath, then read books for 45 minutes. The initial excitement over his favorite "touch 'n feel" book slowly gave way to snuggling and a bottle, and he is falling asleep quietly while Ben and I relax.

I am calm. I am at peace. I am eagerly anticipating the routine we will have as a family when I return, and I look to the future with peace, confidence and humbleness regarding our financial situation.

God has blessed us richly over this past year- through family and friends, peace that passed understanding, lessons we didn't want to learn but had to, and mostly, though His constant forgiveness and grace.

So here I sit, recognizing that in three short weeks, that precious miracle we couldn't wait to meet will have been here for one whole year. We are better people because of him. The world is a better place because of Max.

And one year after I first learned what it felt like to have my heart walking (crawling :) around outside of my chest, I am brought to tears at how amazing it has all been. I wouldn't change a second, and I can't wait to keep going.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...

2011-05-07T22:40:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I go outside because I hear the dogs fighting with each other, and as I go to pull them apart, I see a tiny baby squirrel laying on its side. I'm not sure if it's dead, but it was so very small, and very apparent that he was the reason for the fighting. I get a bit closer and see that he is, in fact alive, and start yelling, "Run baby squirrel, run!" as I scoop Athena up and grab Titan by the scruff.

After I get Athena in the house, I go back to grab Titan, who now has the little thing in his mouth. I start yelling at him to put it down, which he does, and yell again, "RUN BABY SQUIRREL!!! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!!!" (S)he finally runs under the grill and I get Titan inside.

I'm quite certain this is the last we've seen of this poor creature- either (s)he has internal bleeding from my dogs thinking s/he is a chew toy, or we've scared it half (or all the way) to death.

BUT... as Ben is getting Max ready to leave today, he hears them barking again and goes outside to find them both around Baby Squirrel, and Baby Squirrel PLAYING BACK. Titan was actually the one trying to mouth it, so he had to be called off. But Athena was so sweet!!! I wonder if she thinks it's a puppy...

So we will keep an eye out because now I'm afraid its Mother abandoned him/her... what do we do then????

Oh my goodness, life is never dull around here!

39 in, 39 out...

2011-05-04T23:41:00.000-05:00

Baby Max,

My how time flies. You are 9 months old today, 39 weeks to be exact. And 39 weeks ago, you were born at 39 weeks gestation. 39 in, 39 out...

August 5th, 2010- 1 day old :)

Much to my dismay, the time you have been here has passed WAY quicker than the time passed when I was pregnant. And I loved being pregnant. But man, do I LOVE being your Mama.

Easter 2011

These 9 months have seen some of our highest of highs and lowest of lows. We lost one of our CYT students last month, and I don't know that I've ever cried more or held you tighter than I did during that time. You finally started sleeping through the WHOLE night, and wouldn't you know it, I'd go in around 11pm and scoop your little body into my arms and just stare at you. Sometimes I'd cry, sometimes I'd smile and try not to laugh, other times I'd just nod off :) But I NEEDED you in my arms, to know you were safe, to feel you breathing, to soak up every second I could.

From one of our late-night Mama-induced snuggles. Totally pissed you off with the flash. Whoops.

I was so aware of how fleeting life was- and so aware that, although you are mine and your Daddy's tiny human, you are on loan from our Heavenly Father. I look at you and just can't believe God is trusting me with you. And each night as we pray, I beg God to let us live a long and happy life together. I don't want to constantly live in fear, but I just can not imagine life without you. You are amazing.

And then, we move into my Mother of the Year moments, most recently when you managed to roll off of your changing table and get your first black eye. Oh my goodness, I don't think I've ever been more scared in my life. I rushed you to the ER, and after a CAT scan and observation, you were SO unfazed and no worse for the wear. Initially your eye actually didn't look too bad, but as the days have passed, you have developed a shiner even your Daddy is jealous of :) After many hours of beating myself up, Daddy and I decided to commemorate the event by dressing you up in your Blackhawks jersey and toting one of Daddy's hockey sticks and pucks to the photo studio. The shots from that day are probably some of my favorites you've ever taken.

We have had many outings, lots of play-time, and just general joy all around. Most significantly, you are TOTALLY on the move. You can scoot like a pro, and you spin on your belly like it's your job. Our life is changing FAST as we are starting to child-proof, gate-off, duct-tape, etc.

Your newest thing is going STRAIGHT for the dog bowls and grabbing a handful of dog food if I can't get to you fast enough. Yum.

You are loving each bite of food you get, and have tried so many new things! The more you try, the messier you get, and I just love watching you learn how to feed yourself and discover new foods.

Eating puffs off the floor :)

Devouring a teething biscuit.

You are just so much more active, such a willing and able participant in your own life, and you are such a joy to be around. This next video is a bit long, but it shows just how much fun you are, how you never stop smiling, and how your laugh is contagious. I love you so much my little Max!!!

Kicking Breast Cancer in the Face

2011-04-07T21:24:00.000-05:00

I've signed up to do something I've never done... to push myself harder than I've pushed... and it will be an honor to walk in support of one of my CYT student's Mama... an amazing woman with a huge fight ahead of her. Would you support me? Let's show Lisa just how many people support her in her fight... Click here to donate!

I've committed to participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. It's a big commitment, one that will require me to spend the next couple months training and fundraising. But breast cancer is a big disease, one that still affects far too many people, and I'm determined to do everything I can to help put an end to it. The money I raise will be managed and disbursed by the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade to help provide access to care for those that most need it, fund educational programs, and accelerate research into new treatments and potential cures. I'll be just one of thousands of people that will walk up to a marathon and a half over a weekend, raising awareness of the cause and educating even more people.

I can't do it without your help. Though I'm required to raise at least $1,800 in donation, I plan to raise much more!

I hope that I can count on your support.

You can make a donation to my fundraising campaign by clicking here => Click here to donate! If you prefer to write a check, just contact me and I'll send you the information and form.

As I prepare for this exciting event, I plan to update my page frequently so that all my supporters can follow my progress, so please visit often. While you're there, you might want to spend some time on the site to find out more information on why this event is so important, and the organizations and people that will be helped by the money we all raise.

Thank you in advance.

Click here to donate!

He is Faithful...

2011-04-01T23:14:00.000-05:00

June 10th, 2010 was one of the hardest days of my life. I was less than 2 months from my due date, had just been in L & D due to pre-term labor, and on that particular morning, I sat in a conference room being told I was no longer going to be working for Alcon.
7 months pregnant and I needed to find a new job.
2 months away from having a baby and we were loosing our main source of income.

Due to the nature of my parting ways with Alcon, I don't think I ever really got to mourn what happened; to grieve how useless and foolish I felt; to cry about how unfair and unjust it all was. We dove into taking legal action due to wrongful termination, and just as we were finishing up with that, our amazing son Max turned our world upside-down.

It was a glorious time... overwhelming, yes... but newness of this tiny person and our new normal slowly gave way to realizing I had to start looking for work.

Month after month, we would look at our bills, often cry over them, and pray for God to provide. Month after month, we'd pray over how I'd get around as we could not afford to buy another car. We found ways to sacrifice- sold Ben's car, cancelled cable, lowered our cell phone plan, and I even gave up my beloved Starbucks. Most times it seemed like it wouldn't be enough. And many times, it wasn't. But month after month, family and friends blessed us with cars to borrow, ears for listening, a meal to share. A few weeks ago, my parent's just gave us one of their cars. Just gave it to us. Wow.

I started really interviewing/applying for work again in November. I went through about 6 major interviews, 3 with the same company; I flew to Texas, drove to an interview in the Blizzard of 2011, networked with any and everyone who would listen. I was about *thisclose* to a job what felt like once a month, and then something would happen- they had to offer the job to an internal transfer, someone else with 15+ years experience would interview at the last minute- I felt like I'd never get another job.

We learned a lot about ourselves and our shortcomings in these months. I've grown more in these past 10 months than I think I have in my entire life. We decided that, when we were done with this time (whenever God decided that would be), we would be better stewards of our time, finances, relationships. I came to the decision that, if I didn't find a job by May 1st I'd go back to school for Nursing. It's been a back-burner dream of mine, and I had decided now was as good a time as any.

Then a few weeks ago, I had an interview and it went really, really well. And a follow-up with a current rep that went even better. And another phone call that ended on a great note. And then a request to call the manager Friday (this) morning to discuss "next steps"... the only step left was to get hired!!! Come ON guy! Don't leave me hanging!

And the call this morning... I got the job. I received my offer letter moments after hanging up the phone. I did not have to take even a penny pay-cut from what I was earning at Alcon.

And the part, when all the laughing and screaming and praising was done, when I really noticed my new start date with Eli Lilly (the company I have ALWAYS wanted to work for):

June 10th, 2011. One year to the day after I lost my job.

God is so faithful, so funny, so humbling.

We didn't lose our house, we didn't have to buy another car, we had food on our table, clothes on our backs and diapers on Max's butt.

I'm Choreographing Godspell for CYT right now, and one of the songs, All Good Gifts, just keeps playing over and over in my head. The chorus is as follows:
All good gifts around us are sent from Heaven above.
So thank the Lord, so thank the Lord for all His Love.

I want to make one thing clear- God loves us whether I have a job or not. He cares about us even when times are hard. I don't base my understanding and thankfulness for His care on how much money we make or what cars we drive. He is faithful, He HAS been faithful, and He will continue to be faithful, no matter the circumstances.

But man... June 10th has been redeemed, and I am so humbled.

I signed up for this...

2011-03-30T23:05:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure why I'm blogging this, but I guess I just want to document ALL of this thing called Mothering...

Max has been inconsolable the past few nights, and after much discussion, we decided to let him try and cry-it-out a little tonight.

After over an hour of screaming (with checks every 10 minutes or so), I finally rocked him for a bit and changed his diaper just to make sure I wasn't missing something. Besides the fact that he had thrown-up on himself a bit from crying so much, he calmed down quickly once I picked him up. Dang it. Now I know he's just fighting sleep.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!? I wish he came with a translator. I'm so tired, so frustrated, so overwhelmed.

How can I love someone so much and just want to squeeze the tears all out at the same time?!?!

If I take a couple minutes and a few deep breaths, I PRAISE GOD for the fact that I have a healthy, normally happy little miracle to call my own. He is amazing, and I really, deep down know that I wouldn't trade this for anything.

It's just reallyreally hard tonight. Dear Lord, please just help him sleep.

The Plague of March 2011... and other reasons why this week sucked.

2011-03-26T22:15:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago Ben came down with a wicked flu... not necessarily stomach flu, but he had as high a fever as I've seen him have, had the whole chills/burning up thing, and couldn't even get out of bed for a good 2 days. I was pretty pleased with myself when neither Max nor I got it, and patted my boobs (because I nursed him a ton- Max, not Ben. ha) and my flu shot on the back... or something like that.

Then this week happened. I had been wrestling with a headache that would start to threaten a migraine for about three days, and by Monday evening, I knew I needed to head to an Immediate Care for the strong stuff. I don't have the energy to go into the outrageous experience I had at the first place I went to, but finally got some relief around 1am at the second IC. Ben had to work late so Max had been sleeping at my parent's house, and I decided to crash there after the whole ordeal. It was a good thing I did because I woke up the next morning with a fever, body aches/chills, a headache and the stomach part of the flu you'd not wish on your worst enemy. God bless my amazing parents who cared for Max until Ben came over, and then Ben for being Mr. Mom for a few days while I recouped. I FINALLY just started eating normal foods again. Like, today. Gross.

THANKFULLY, Max still hasn't show any signs of being sick even though we are down to nursing only when he wakes up and before he goes to bed. A transition that, by the way, has gone very well. He's eating so many new food each day, and recently was introduced to the amazingness that is Puffs. Cutest. Thing. Ever. watching him pick them up with his little hands :)

Titan has recently realized how beneficial his friendship with Max is becoming... I think we have two best friends on our hands :)

One year ago today...

2011-03-17T23:33:00.002-05:00

We found out our 'baby' was going to be a "Max".

It seems so long ago, and yet I remember it with crystal clarity.

So glad this:

(20 week belly shot and 3D-ultrasound)

Became YOU:

Who is now THIS:

Doing things like this:

Drinking juice from a sippy cup (kind of)

Clapping...

Sitting up

This is all happening too fast.

WE LOVE YOU MAX THOMAS!!!

Putting Athena in Max's bed... and other things I do when I'm about to loose it.

2011-03-10T16:05:00.000-06:00

That would be Miss Athena licking Max's hand while Max is whining in his Pack 'n' Play... which leads to the next awesome parenting tactic...

Here he is sleeping... in his Pack 'N' Play... in his room. Next to his crib.

We were in the process of transitioning him from the office upstairs (next to our room) to his bedroom, and eventually, his own bed. This was over a week ago. Ahem.

Next...

Here he is watching Sesame Street (which I said I wouldn't let him do until he was older) in his high-chair (which I said I wouldn't use as a 'babysitter') chewing on his spoon (which I normally don't let him do unattended). And yes, I did indeed wheel the high chair out to the living room.

I'm actually proud to say that, during Peter Pan shows (the most recent show I choreo'd for CYT), I happily painted a pirate moustache on Max.

"Where to, Miss?" Just call me Britney Spears. Ok, in all seriousness we were sitting waiting for the tow truck and he was having NONE of his car seat. Clearly we weren't actually driving.

And here he is standing on his little chair because he didn't want to sit. Harmless enough until you see the video below detailing what transpired as I let him stand on his chair.

And with that, I conclude my post on my most recent exceptional parenting moments.

Max is 7 months!!!

2011-03-07T20:49:00.000-06:00

Oh Max,

I've been called out. I hung out with 2 of the 4 readers of this blog and was told that, yes, I officially suck at updating.

My new goal is to post at least once a week. If nothing else than just to share pictures, I'm going to do it because I want YOU to have these memories when you get older.

What a month it has been... biggest news of all, you were finally able to have your circumcision surgery. While I'm sure you won't appreciate me discussing your man parts online, it was a big deal!!! You had to go under general anesthesia and did GREAT. I had a few moments of worry/scare but overall I knew you'd do well and you did! It was so sad seeing you in recovery... your Daddy and I have never heard you cry like you did. I wish I could have taken all the pain, but alas, I could not. Luckily you got your first 'taste' of narcotics and were able to sleep through a bit of the initial pain. And aside from some tenderness at diaper changes, you are no worse for the wear. My little champion!

I hate that hospital cribs look like a jail :-<

This month you have been on the 'move' in the best way possible... still 'stationary', but figuring out you can move around! You love rolling all over and spinning on your belly... funny story, I had put you in your bouncy when I went to the bathroom quickly. Not 2 minutes later I come out to find you have wiggled your way out and were now on your tummy a good two feet away. I never heard a clunk or cry... how did you do that?!?! The first of many surprises yet to come I'm sure.

Rolling around at Jenny Ike's Baby Shower

You had your second sleepover with Mimi and Grampa and wouldn't you know it, you slept through the night. What a joker!!! You are getting better about sleeping at home, but you full-on slept from 8:15-6:15 and then went back down after a quick feed and short play.

Snoozing with Gigi. Nice pants kid :)

You've been eating like a champ, trying some new combination of food almost every day. Your favorite dishes usually include some kind of meat (chicken and turkey are your faves I think) and a vegetable. You like fruit, but I think prefer your veggies. We have kept away from rice cereal as you still tend to be constipated more than not (I know, more private details one may wonder why I'm sharing online), but have been doing better since we started giving you a bit of juice and prunes more often. And though you have not master it by any means, you have been enjoying your juice in a sippy cup!!! I can't believe you are old enough to start using a cup. Gah.

We celebrated your Auntie Lauren and (Almost) Uncle Nick's engagement as well as Mommy and Daddy's 4th Anniversary! I tried to look back to see if I was wrong, but that night (the 23rd) was the first time you had a babysitter that WASN'T family! You love Lindsay Eder so very much, and she absolutely adores you; it wasn't too hard to leave you :) Emma was here too, so you just had a blast!

With Auntie Lauren, Uncle Nick and Nick's sister Katie (your Auntie-in-Law I guess? :)

At the end of the month you "helped" Mommy put on your first CYT show (that I was on the Directing team for)... Peter Pan with CYT DuPage. You LOVED all of your new friends and actually loved watching the show... you are a little performer in the making I'm quite sure!

Yes, I did paint a pirate mustache on you. And yes, I'm wearing "Fairy" make-up.

And now on to March... hopefully Spring will continue to peep it's head... you LOVE being outside and I can't wait until we can enjoy walks and days at the park.

We love you SO, SO MUCH Max!!!

Love,
Mama

6 months

2011-02-13T23:11:00.000-06:00

My dearest Max,

I've decided to cut myself some slack on posting a letter to you ON your month birthday... why does it matter, I suppose?

I'm sort of in denial that you are already 6 months old. I've heard the next 6 months go by even faster than the first. That makes my want to cry. Though I love each stage you've gone through, and I know there is so much more I can't even imagine that will bring such joy, I find myself mourning each day because that day with you is over. Never again will we get to live August 4th, 2010... December 25th, 2010... and now February 4th, 2011- you as the sweetest 6 month old I've ever met in my life, and I have moments of deep maternal sadness as I just want to keep you in my arms forever.

I've realized, now more than ever, that with great joy comes great fear- the more we have, the more we have to lose. Yet I would not trade a second with you for anything on Earth or in Heaven. I know, as you grow, there will be painful moments, tender moments, angry moments; though I wish it weren't so, I know we will both probably say things we don't mean, slam doors when we frustrate each other, or be impatient when we should be slow to judge or anger.

Yet I also know there will be many more moments of sweetness, of pride and of LOVE. Max, I will NEVER STOP LOVING YOU. There is nothing you could EVER do to make your Daddy or I stop loving and fighting for you. You are our greatest joy, our sweetest downfall, and the best gift we've ever been given.

I often look at you in amazement and wonder what on Earth I did to deserve you. I say to God, "You mean I get to borrow him from You? You trust me enough to care for him?" It is both a great honor and a terrifying undertaking that I/we've been given you.

I know this little note is a bit "deep', but I just want you to know how DEEPLY we love you and treasure you.

My parents (Mimi and Grampa) used to say this to me all the time, and now I say it to you every night before you go to sleep: "Mommy loves you; Daddy loves you; and Jesus loves you most of all. And there is NOTHING you could EVER do to make any of us stop loving you." Never have I understood more the fierceness with which a mother loves, and never have your Daddy and I loved something so small so very much.

So while I mourn that these first 6 months are over, I DELIGHT in all that is yet to come. You, Max, are the best thing that's ever happened to us.

Jumpin'

2011-01-14T10:20:00.001-06:00

Sorta long, but cute :)

Another video... I'm obsessed.

2011-01-09T20:33:00.001-06:00

Ok so now that I know how to really use iMovie, I'm going a little crazy.
Here is my newest video...
Meal Time.

A little video just for Maxers..

2011-01-09T11:43:00.000-06:00

Max is 5 months and dang it, I'm writing him a letter!

2011-01-04T21:51:00.000-06:00

My precious sweet Maxers,

As I said before, I recognize I didn't write you a letter at 4 months, but man did we have a good time. It was your first Holiday season, and it's never been more special or magical now that we have you. You sat in your big boy high chair for the first time on Thanksgiving, tried rice cereal and some vegetables, spent the night at Gigi and Papa's on Christmas Eve, and attended your Great-Grandma Norma's Memorial service.

You still aren't sleeping through the night, much to my dismay. I just can't do the whole cry-it-out thing... but we have started a process of weaning you off nighttime feedings by slowly reducing the time I feed you. We're off the 11pm feeding: sometimes you wake up but we can easily gt you back to sleep with a soft pet of your head and a reinsertion of your paci :) We're still working on the 3/4am feed, but even after than you'll stay asleep until about 7:30/8am.

This month you had your first real infection that caused us to visit the Immediate Care center not once but twice. The fist visit was on the 19th and you were diagnosed with a right ear infection and upper respiratory infection. We reluctantly put your on an antibiotic for a few days and thankfully your ear cleared up. But on the night of Christmas, you started screaming like I've never heard you scream and were pulling on your right ear again. So we were back to the Immediate Care where they said your ears looked great (whew!) so you were probably working on a tooth. We have yet to see this elusive tooth that's supposedly been working its way out for the past month... you are still cute nonetheless :)

We spent some time with friends who have a little buddy of yours who is just about 8 weeks younger than you. Never before have I mourned your "littleness" than on our most recent visit. Eli is the size I picture you as being, but seeing you next to him made both your Daddy and I realize what a big boy you're becoming! And while I'm sure I'll look back at pictures of you when you were 5 months old and think you were just so small, it's just kind of sinking in that you will never ever be little again.

But I digress- every day is a new discovery for you, and new skill mastered or one starting to develop. Your smile in contagious and so easily appears, especially at your Daddy. You need only hear his voice and your face just lights up. You think he is probably the funniest person alive, though your Grampa is a close second :)

We have so many funny nicknames for your- Maxasaurus Rex, Tyrannosaurus Max, Maxers, Maxaronni, Mr. Baby, Bubbas, and my personal favorite, the Tiny Human. It's all in love of course, but I am interested to see what sticks.

What a fun month we've had... I can't wait to see what you'll surprise us with next!

Love,
Mama

Where oh where have I been...

2010-12-30T20:17:00.000-06:00

Every time I would go online I'd see my blog (it's our homepage) and think, "I need to update this."

Then I'd say I'd do it later.

Then the task became quite daunting, so I kept putting it off.

Now I don't even know where to start.

Timeline? I think so...

12.2.10
4 month check-up
15.2lbs, 25", 43cm head (50th% for all three!)

12.6.10

Tries rice cereal and LOVES it!

12.9.10

Eli Lilly flew me to Texas to interview for a pharma sales position. Though the interview went really well, I found out on my birthday (:-/) that they ended up needing to honor some transfers so I did not get the job. While it was a huge disappointment, I'm still so grateful I have the best job in the world- Max's Mama and Ben's wife!

12.12.10

Tries squash

12.14.10

Athena's 2nd Birthday :)

12.16.10

My 28th birthday

I got a glider for Max's room!!! My Mom and I had lunch & got mani/pedis, and then Ben and I went to the Gold Class Cinema at the Arboretum... I don't think I will ever be able to watch a movie like a normal person again.

12.17.10

Tries peas

12.19.10

Tries sweet potatoes

First visit to Immediate Care with fever- diagnosed with upper respiratory and ear infection. Weighed in at 15lbs 9 oz :)

12.22.10

Made Christmas cookies with Mimi, Uncle Ryan and Grampa

12.23.10

Tries prunes

12.24.10

Christmas service at church

Annual Christmas Eve part at Gigi and Papa's house

Spent the night at Gigi and Papa's for Christmas

12.25.10

First Christmas!

Later that night, we were back to Immediate Care with what I thought was ear pain- thankfully his ears were actually looking great so it was most likely acute teething. Call me a crazy first-time Mom, but when my baby is screaming like he's never screamed before and pulling like crazy at the ear that had the infection, I'm gonna take my him to get checked out.

Still a sweetie at the Immediate Care Center!

12.27.10

Slept from 7pm-3:30am then 4am-7:30am!!!

12.29.10

Drove up to Milwaukee for Great-Grandma Norma's Memorial Service

Met Grampa Poling's whole side of the family!

Car ride to WI

Dinner at PF Chang's

My handsome guys

First time in a big kid high chair! He slid around a lot, but it was cute for the few minutes we had him in it.

Kinda over the high-chair

But back to his happy self once Daddy started making faces :)

And that about sums up December! I'm looking forward to actually doing something tomorrow night for New Year's Eve as last year I was SO sick from being pregnant we just stayed in. Additionally, I fully intend to update more

I also want to note, for Max's sake, I'm aware I did not write his 4 month letter. Sweetie, your 4th month was awesome and I love you.
The End.

:)

Norma May Flickinger Poling: 1/3/15-11/29/10

2010-12-05T21:57:00.000-06:00

After a long and full life, my beautiful Grandmother passed away this past week just shy of her 96th birthday. She had been relatively healthy up until September- she had a serious brain infection that caused her to have a seizure and never quite recovered.

When it was evident she needed around the clock care, my family moved her to Manor Care down here in Elgin and I am so grateful to have gotten to see her multiple times in her last few weeks.

She leaves behind her four children (my Dad was her youngest) and their spouses, 7 Grandchildren and their (our) spouses, and 15 Great-Grandchildren. She was the oldest of 5 children and her 3 sisters are still living, but her brother passed away a while back.

I am so glad she was able to celebrate Max's birth with us and that, even though he won't remember her, he still got to meet and be loved on by her. His first overnight away from home was at her house when he and I drove up there :)

Meeting Mr. Max

My Mom, Grandma and I at Max's Baby Shower

Gram at our Wedding

I love you Grandma Norma. I hope you are dancing in Heaven, fully restored and enjoying being in His presence!

Max's First Thanksgiving!

2010-11-28T16:11:00.001-06:00

I LOVE hosting Thanksgiving at my house, and this year was all the more special with our little guy. I tried to buckle him into his high chair for the first time, but he still is a bit too small:

And that concludes the pictures I took of his first Thanksgiving. Seriously. Bad Mom.

You may notice the teething toy and "cloth" I soaked in cold water... yes, my poor little not-even-four-month-old is teething. While I am proud he's such a little over-achiever, this is one thing I hate seeing him go through... so much pain, he just cries out and looks at me like, "Mom! PLEASE make it stop!" It breaks my heart into a million tiny pieces. Hopefully this first one will come through quickly and we'll have a break before more start.

Christmas is in full swing at our house, and Max is dressing accordingly:

He also had his first meeting with the Big Guy... he wasn't in a smiley mood so I didn't buy the pictures, but I snapped this sweet one to remember the event :)

We are going to attempt to take both Max AND the dogs for their picture with Santa tomorrow night at Springhill Mall... Crazy? Yes... but totally worth it :) Pictures to come FOR SURE.

Because I Can...

2010-11-23T14:48:00.000-06:00

Max is starting to really find his little laugh, and he is SO funny imitating me or Ben when we laugh at him:

Shutterfly for All

2010-11-23T14:42:00.000-06:00

Don't pass up this great deal: Bloggers can get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly: http://bit.ly/sfly201

I just started using Shutterfly when Max was born and have been so impressed with their service- great prints, fast turn-around, I'm always getting great deals/sales via email, and their customer service is amazing!

Here are a few of my favorite items:

I made a bunch of photo books for family of Max, and also made books commemorating my pregnancy too! Photo Gifts

I haven't decided which one we'll use this year, but we for sure will use them for our Christmas Card: Christmas Photo Cards

Here is a link to the card we used for Max's Birth Announcement: Max's Birth Announcement

You should take advantage of there great offer, if nothing else, just to try it out! New members also get 50 free prints too!

GROUPON!!!

2010-11-19T20:55:00.000-06:00

I love a good deal as much as the next person, but Groupon is seriously the best deal site EVER.

They have an App (for iPhone, BB, and Droid I think), or you can go online. Each day they have a different "sale"... for example, today's sale is $25 for a $50 gift certificate to Nordstrom Rack. You can keep it on your phone or print out your Groupon via e-mail and redeem in store. We've gotten Groupons for Gap, Build-a-Bear, Yoga (!)... it's seriously amazing.

Check it out via the link below:
http://www.groupon.com/r/uu3733631

Happy Shopping!!!

Sink Baths!

2010-11-18T23:36:00.000-06:00

Cutest new thing is taking a bath in my parent's kitchen sink...

Well, not me, Max.

The kid loves bath-time:

Little tongue loves the water

Laughing at Grampa :)

Max's CYT Debut!

2010-11-15T22:00:00.000-06:00

While I reallyreallyreally hope that Max wants to do shows with me one day, I am TOTALLY ok with him doing WHATEVER he wants- sports, dance, theatre, music... whatever.

However... since he is too little to express his desires, I am happy to put him in whatever shows ask for him :)

This weekend he was Baby Thomas, son of Pocahontas and John Rolfe in CYT Aurora's The Legend of Pocahontas. It was SO stinkin' cute... everyone said so.

My little Papoose... the Hitler mustache was his fault, he rubbed his face paint on his nose.

With his Pocahontas Mama

With Deanna, Jessica and Kayla

Getting ready to go onstage!

Beautiful Nicosia Girls (Pocahontas and Lead Dancer)

Nicosia Family (+Rachel, who is most definitely a Nicosia:)

With the boy who played Young Thomas... love his face:)

He was such a little champ, he did so good and was so interested in everything going on! He just looked up at the stage lights and looked out at the audience. He got to take a bow with Kayla (Pocahontas)... his first lead bow! It really was so cute and I was just so proud!

3 months!?!?

2010-11-04T15:35:00.000-05:00

I did it!!! I'm writing you a post on your actual "month" birthday!!! Go Mommy!!! I think it's a testament to how our life is going... I think we are getting the hang of this Mama/Baby/Family thing!

So October was quite the month for us- lots of time outside, lots of time with family and of course, your first Halloween!

I lamented over what to dress you as because I really wanted to include the dogs. I know I'm a weirdo.When I finally settled on the Three Little Pigs, I couldn't find a baby pig costume. God bless the local Party Werks store.... found you a piggy bunting for about $15, and then I got Titan and Athena's pig costumes for $3.75 a piece! When we got to Gigi and Papa's, we found a little stick-on mustache and well, yeah.

This month has been a lot about expanding on some of your new discoveries- you are now a master roller from tummy to back and have started to wiggle side to side when you are on your back, like you are getting ready to roll back over. You ADORE your hands... they are most scrumptious!

The weather has been amazing this month- 70's all month! You enjoyed lots of time outside, especially with Mimi by the waterfall.

You have so much fun with both sets of Grandparents. They all love to babysit and spend time with you, and I'm not going to lie, I love the little break once in awhile. You started being able to sit up in your Bumbo seat and LOVE looking in the mirror. I can't tell if you are self-aware, but it sure is cute when you recognize my face and smile back.

Your doggies are your most loyal companions, always sitting/sleeping/lying near you. It's so precious. And you are certainly aware of them and love watching them run around and play. I can't wait until you can play back, and I know they will LOVE the day they can chase you around!

You still adore your baths... I took this little picture of you after a bath:

and then remembered I had taken this one of you after your first bath:

Same baby for sure, but look how much you've grown!!!! Gah!!!

Of course October brings our favorite sports: football and hockey. Though we are a little discouraged by our teams performances, we are still Chicago fans through and through.

Touchdown!!!

Goal!!!

We went on your first road trip, too- Ben and the band (Aaron, Nathan, Izzy and Becky) played one weekend at Mars Hill in Grand Rapids, MI and we got to go with! You were AMAZING. You slept most of the time we were in the car and just went with the flow as we toted you around.

The end of the month was a little hard as your Mama got sick :( I mean REALLY sick. I had a double ear and sinus infection, tonsillitis, pink eye in BOTH eyes and horrible body aches with a fever. It was probably my hardest week as a Mommy because I just sucked at life. And though you are not full on sick, you had your first fever (100.4) and seem to be just a little off. But we are snuggling tons and hopefully we will both be back to our normal selves soon!

Oh Maxers, we just love you so much. This has been such a fun month and the bigger you get, the bigger your personality becomes. Can't wait to see what this month brings, especially since it's the Holiday Season!!! Yipee!!!

Max's First Halloween!

2010-11-01T14:01:00.000-05:00

We have really enjoyed October with Max and our families, and though I have been super sick for over a week now, we had a relaxing Halloween with our Three Little Pigs!

The Littlest Piggy

The Medium Piggy

The Big Piggy :)

Happy Little Pig!!!

Pumpkins from Family Carving Night....

(any other month of the year, that would be a really morbid event...)

I was really tempted to paint a little mustache on Max and say that he was a formal Pig, but then Ben's Mom had this sticky one at their house. Win.

I've never been a huge Halloween person, but having a little one to dress up has brought a whole new fun factor to the day. But what Halloween reeeeeallllyyyy means is that, when it's over, it's officially THE HOLIDAY SEASON!!! Break out the Christmas travel mug and get the garland ready!!!!!

PIctures and Reflections

2010-10-30T17:24:00.000-05:00

I finally feel like I'm starting to get the hang of this whole "Mama to my own, real tiny human" thing. I love reading about different parenting ideas, but am totally content to figure out what will work best for us and Max; sort of a hybrid of the different ideas. I've been having discussions on my Facebook, such as posing questions about co-sleeping or cloth vs. disposable diapers, and i truly LOVE hearing the different sides people share to different topics.

I'm sitting here baby-free as my wonderful Mother-in-law is caring for Max today. I'm as sick as I've been since getting pregnant, so though I've not accomplished much in my "free time", I know it's helping me get better so I can take care of my family again. Being sick with a little one sucks.

Our parents have been unreal with Max; both my parents and Ben's are so loving, kind, supportive and encouraging. I have no idea how we could ever NOT live near them!

Before I post pics and videos, I am asking for prayer and support for Ben and I- we are in the process of starting Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and would LOVE any suggestions or encouragement from those who have done or are doing the same. Since losing my job, the reality of our crappy financial situation has become unavoidable. We want to fix it NOW, not only for our sanity, but for ours and Max's future. I'm so excited to see what doors and windows open as a result of us choosing to close the door on our past indiscretions.

Visit to Edward's Apple Orchard. We are the dorks in all plaid. I'm proud.

From his 2 month photo shoot by Jessica Campbell/Jetti Photography. I will post a bunch of these soon!

From his One Month Shoot :)

The boy LOVES his bath time!

Videos to follow shortly...

Month Two

2010-10-07T21:47:00.001-05:00

Oh my precious boy,

I hope you don't take my inability to post these letters on your month anniversaries as a sign of my inability to be on time and care for you... though I will probably be late many more times in your little life, please know that it is no reflection on how much I love you and how important you are to me.

You see, I've been too busy loving you to sit down long enough to post this... ;-)

WHAT a month this has been! You have grown like a weed- at your two month check-up you were 12lbs, 23.5" and your head is 40cm, all in the 50th percentile. MKIA (You know, My KID is Average... a play on the popular phrase, "My Life is Average". I prefer to think of MLIA as my life is AWESOME... and so are YOU!!!)

Holy tangent.

One of the biggest "first's" this month was your first overnight away from your Daddy and I. We went with Uncle Drew to see one of our favorite comedians, Louis C.K., and then all stayed downtown for the night.

Your Mimi and Grampa were MORE than happy to spend a full 24-hours with you. Aside from feeling like a Jersey cow with all the pumping I had to do, all three of us did really well! Of course we missed you- I think I called home about every two hours just to hear how and what you were doing. Before you came along, your Daddy and I were (and still ARE!) best friends; for us to be the best parents possible, we have to make sure we still spend time with just the two of us.

And Uncle Drew :)

I think my favorite part about this month, though, has been you finding your smile! I dreamed about the day I would see my baby smile back at me... I wondered if my heart would stop and feel as happy as it did when I saw my friend's kids smile.

It was better. My heart stopped and MELTED.

You also had your first visit to Edward's Orchard. We went with Mimi, Grampa and their/our friends, Teresa and Scott Whitson. It was a gorgeous day, and though you didn't particularly care to be measured, you enjoyed most everything else.

We also took a trip to visit your Great Grandma Norma. I didn't take any pictures as it was a short visit, but you brought her so much joy! When you saw her first thing in the morning, you gave her the biggest grin, and she smiled just as brightly back at you. It was so very sweet.

You have been having fun with your friends Addison and Avery St. Leger- you and Avery just look at each other and roll around like, well, babies do. Addie loves to look at you and pet your head. She is such a sweet big sister to both Avery AND you :)

Another big "milestone" for you this month was rolling over!!! I thought it was a fluke at first, but when you kept doing it, I realized you very much loved how strong you and your new trick were.

You continue to LOVE your bath time. Aside from being angry between being taken out of the water and being dressed for bed, you will just coo and relax through the whole thing. It's so, so cute.

Max, I love you so much. You have blessed your Daddy and I beyond our wildest dreams. Another month gone by- while I'm so excited to see you grow and develop into whatever you want to be, I sometimes wish I could just freeze little moments: when we are singing our "Getting Dressed" song in the morning and you look up and me and giggle; when you watch your brother and sister run around like idiots and think it is just so interesting; and when we are snuggling before bed- sometimes we sing, sometimes we read, but mostly we just just rock and talk. I know one day you will want NOTHING to do with snuggling your Mama, so I'm trying to bottle the feeling in my heart and inhale you as much as humanly possible.

You are our precious treasure Baby Boy.

Love,

Mommy

Happy Birthday Ben!

2010-10-06T18:24:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrate my amazing husband!
I am so grateful for everything that he is: an amazing husband, an even better Daddy, my Best Friend and the Love of my Life!
What an amazing year this has been for us. I hope your 28th year is as amazing as your 27th... and for a few months, we're both the same age :)
Happy 27th Birthday my LOVE!
We love you like crazy!

The post in which I share my biggest fear and end with a video

2010-09-16T22:49:00.001-05:00

I consider myself a fairly positive person. I have DREAMED of being a mom since I was old enough to grasp the concept of caring for someone younger than me. I have spent years loving other people's children (with great joy I might add!), but knew my greatest day would come when I had a little person of my own.

Yet I never could have imagined how amazing it really would be. I love Max so much it hurts. His sweet little smirks, his fake "cries", his real cries, even his poopy diapers- they are all precious to me. No matter how much I know about how babies grow/exist, I sill worry about every little squeak, every cry, every long streak with no poop, etc.

I have recently been so aware of the pain that many women go through when it comes to children- be it their yearning for a baby and difficulty getting pregnant, the loss of a baby either through miscarriage, SIDS, etc. or even the loss of their own lives while their babies are still young- I am keenly aware at how fragile the gift of motherhood is.

I know I will mess up... many, many, many times. I will piss Max off, I will get angry when I shouldn't, I will not change his diaper fast enough or maybe forget to pick him up from hockey practice. I'm not afraid so much of that because I am prepared to be human. What I am TERRIFIED of is missing ANY of his life. In short, I don't want to die.

I have never hated my mortality more now that I have a little person to call my own. Don't get me wrong- I believe in Heaven and in my intelligent brain, I long for the day I will get to celebrate with family and friends in the presence of the Lord. But the thought, right this moment, of missing any of Max's life literally brings me to tears.

I guess that's what mom's talk about when they speak of loving fiercely- I love him with a vengeance that makes me want to protect him from ANY and EVERYTHING... and now, more than ever, I want to take better care of myself so I am around for a long, long time.

To Max: Never question if you were loved in this life. I promise your Daddy and I will raise you to know and love the Lord so we will all be together at the end of this life. But know that I am SO grateful to have you; you are so precious and I live to love you.

On a lighter note, here is a sweet video of our Mr. Baby playing with his keys for the first time!

Month One

2010-09-09T22:05:00.000-05:00

My dearest Max,

You will learn quickly your Mama is not always the most timely of people... I'm getting better about it but, as exemplified by this note coming a few days after your one month birthday, I still loose track of time a little too easily.

This month, though, I have never cared less about time- keeping track of it, that is. I have been soaking up every moment with you like it's the first time I've ever had water. And actually, so many moments HAVE been firsts- first time holding you, first day/night home as a family, first blow-out :)... I have loved learning who you are so much.

And you are just so precious! Such a sweet, calm baby. When you DO get upset, it's actually pretty funny (unless Mommy's really tired, then I have a hard time finding the humor in your arguments). You have the goofiest, angriest, immediate displeasure of a whine/scream I've ever heard. You are fairly easily calmed, though, once we figure out what you need.

And I am learning so much about being a MOM! It constantly amazes me how much I can "know" (as in, I studied it and trained others!), but when it comes to caring for you, I either forget or think what I 'know' must not be right. Like the first time you spit up, I cried. CRIED! Pathetic, I know. I just love you so so so so so much, and can't imagine anything (like reflux!) happening to you. As time has gone on I've started trusting my instincts again and am not such a basket-case (well, not as often).

Another thing that's just melted my heart has been seeing you with your Daddy. I always knew he would be an amazing Father, but seeing you two together just makes me realize even more how we were always supposed to be together- us three (with our puppies of course!), a perfect little family.

You have had so many adventures this month, too. We visited Daddy's Apple store, where you were a total hit- all of Daddy's co-workers just LOVED you! You also got to meet your Great Grandma Norma. Sadly, she had a very serious seizure just this past week. I couldn't help thinking how glad I was that she got to see you, and how grateful I am for our family. She is doing much better now, but I know only have so much time left together as she IS 95! Life is just so precious, and this month has just made that all the more real.

So what else does your world look like? You are finally eating like a champ after fighting the boob at first (due to the fact you got formula when you were in the NICU). You will take a bottle if need be, or if someone else wants to feed you. I am pumping when I can, but considering how much you love formula, I don't feel too guilty about giving it to you once in awhile. You are sleeping pretty consistently at night- you fall asleep between 7 and 8, always wake up for a midnight feeding, and then will normally sleep until about 5 (sometimes 6!) before you want to eat again. And normally, you'll go right back to bed after that, too! I am still figuring out your days- between different morning and afternoon naps and cat naps, you don't really have a set schedule yet.

I know so much more has happened, and I know more than I can even imagine will continue to happen. For the first time in my life, though, I am just so peaceful and really enjoying each day with you. Can I believe you're already a month? Yes and no- I can't believe we've had you for over 5 weeks, but I also can't imagine life without you.

I love you so much Max Thomas! You are our greatest gift, and I can't wait to keep learning about and loving you!

Love,
Mama

Titan & Max

2010-08-31T23:38:00.000-05:00

My favorite part is how every other word/phrase is "Titan, NO!" haha, poor doggie.

Max's Birth Story- FINALLY

2010-08-21T22:12:00.000-05:00

What a story this is! I think the best way to explain it would be by listing everything by date/time, so here goes!

Monday, August 3rd (1:00pm): OB appointment. I called in because Max was not moving much. They hooked me up to the monitor and though it took a bit for him to start moving, his heart rate was great. They did a quick ultrasound and though everything looked fine, I was having pretty consistent contractions- like, 2-3 minutes apart! Even though I was only 1cm dilated, my OB decided to send me down to L&D to be monitored- she wanted to make sure I wasn't in early labor.

Monday, August 3rd (5:00pm): After a few hours on the monitors, I was not progressing so they decided to have me start a 24-hour urine protein test and sent me home with instructions to come back if the contractions didn't stop. (Side note for those who may appreciate it- while I was collecting my urine, I lost my mucous plug. That was a unique and strange visual. It also made for a good laugh when I had to turn it in and explain why there was more than just urine in my collection jug.)

Monday, August 3rd (11:00pm): Still "Braxton Hicks-ing"... so we decided to go in. Long story short, I had not progressed at all and the contractions were becoming more erratic. Damn. I was pissed. Tears were shed. We were sent home.

Tuesday, August 2nd (all day): I spent the day walking around and trying to get stuff done and get the little man to start dropping. I went to Deer Park, Buy Buy Baby, and Ikea, where I picked up a little bookcase (the last piece of furniture for Max's room!) I was definitely "contracting" all day, but wasn't convinced anything was changing.

Tuesday, August 2nd (8:00pm): In all of my almost-a-Mom intelligence, I thought it would be a good idea to try and bring the (50lb +) bookshelf in BY MYSELF. Now, understand I had one of those little dollies so it really wasn't that heavy. However, it needed to get up our deck stairs. First stair and the wheel got stuck so as I pulled, the bookcase stopped but my back kept going. Immediately I knew (felt) the error in my ways. I hobbled inside (I could not stand up straight) and called Ben... "I need you to come home... NOW." In his rush, he told me later, he didn't know why I was summoning him. But he learned a few weeks ago that when I called with the, "I need you to come home NOW," he came home. I called my chiropractor and doula, who both scolded me, then stated I probably wouldn't keep progressing now that I was in pain and couldn't relax. A call to the OB (who also told me what an idiot I was) and we were headed back in to Labor & Delivery.

That tower in the corner is the "bookcase"

This time I made sure we brought all of our things- luggage, computer, camera, bag of snacks, etc. I was NOT going back to L&D for the third time in two days without having a baby. When we arrived, I was yelled at by more Nurses for my stupidity, and was checked... still 1cm. F*#^. But because my contractions were moderately strong and regular, my OB decided I needed a bit of pain meds to help me sleep- as others had said, I was not going to progress until I could relax. They admitted me, administered a happy shot, and ordered me to sleep. I ordered Ben home to sleep and we both slept until the next morning.

August 4th (8am): The nurse comes in to check me after a night of resting comfortably. 1.5cm. Damn it all. This has got to be a joke. She goes and talks to my OB, who advises Pitocin might be a good idea. I had been pretty against induction all along, but at this point I was so frustrated and confused as to why I was regularly contracting but not dilating, I became open to the option. With the promise of "starting slow", I agreed. Ben was not too pleased (like I said, we both were pretty against induction), but after talking to my OB, he understood and agreed.

A hour later, all hell broke loose. We are still not sure what happened- perhaps a reaction to the Pit or a surge or Relaxin, but suddenly I was in MAJOR pain, and not just with contractions. After trying a dose of narcs and me BEGGING the nurse to turn off the Pit, they ordered the Epidural, turned off the Pitocin and started flushing me with fluids. Honestly, it was all a blur. That's how badly my WHOLE BODY was hurting. Luckily the anesthesiologist arrived quickly and with little recollection, I was administered the epidural. Just a short while later, the pain was gone and I was resting comfortably. They Nurse turned the Pitocin back on (at the smallest level possible). By this point my Mom had arrived and it turned into a waiting game. I almost immediately fell asleep and didn't wake until...

August 4th (12:30pm): My water broke on it's own! As most stories go, I can tell I'm "leaking" and call the Nurse, who thinks it's probably just the catheter, only to discover that yes, my water DID break and I'm dilated to almost 6cm! I cheer momentarily, and basically fall back asleep.

August 4th (5pm): I wake again to lots of pressure. I call for the nurse who checks me and to her surprise, I'm 10cm, fully effaced and Max was at a zero station! She calls the OB who comes in just as surprised as we all were (she later admitted she was sure I wouldn't have Max until the following morning). They "set up shop" and had me start doing some practice pushing. I got the hang of pushing pretty quickly, and was mostly excited to meet our little man!

Just us two for the last time!

But let's fast forward to...

August 4th (6:15pm): I AM STILL PUSHING. I also had a "leak" meconium so the NICU nurses were called in to be present in case he had swallowed any. By this point, I really have no idea how I'm going to do this. I made them move the "I want to see the birth" mirror because really, it was more discouraging by that point (again, HOW THE H AM I GOING TO DO THIS?!?!) Eventually, the OB realizes he is coming down with his head a bit sideways... an episiotomy would have to happen. And seriously, the moment after she did...

August 4th (6:47pm): MAX MAKES HIS DEBUT!!! He was quickly put in the little heated bed and looked over- Ben went to be with him as they checked him out. They had to suction his lungs a bit, but he hadn't really swallowed much of the meconium. He was, however, breathing rather quickly (normal rate is preferred to be below 60 breaths/minute... he was at 120). We were told that is part of the transition, and some babies just take a bit longer. Ben got to cut the cord, he was swaddled and finally I got to hold him for about 5 minutes. He was quickly taken to the Special Care nursery for his bath and another APGAR test. Ben got to stay with him and our family was able to look on from the viewing window of the nursery.

Holding tight to Daddy's finger

Not a fan of his first bath

IN THE MEAN TIME, my placenta wouldn't release and when it finally did, I started loosing blood. A LOT of blood. It did eventually stop, but not before the OB almost called for a transfusion. And then the sewing began. We will simply leave it at I had "a bunch of tearing" due to pushing for so long, and the OB just wanted to make sure "every thing was put back together in its proper place." My Mom said she lost count of how many stitches I actually got. For more information, email me at IWasTooOutOfItToCare@firsttimemom.com.

I don't remember arriving in the recovery room. I actually don't remember much of anything until I was wheeled into the Special Care nursery to FINALLY see my boy. Mind you, this is almost 10pm. It was then we were told that if he didn't transition soon, he would have to go to the NICU. Around midnight, he was transferred there and put on Oxygen. Of course by the next morning he was doing much better, but they had to wait until his breathing had been below 60 for a good 24 hours before they'd consider releasing him.

Sweet, sweet boy

Too many wires :(

So for the next 2.5 days, I tried to recover and Max grew stronger. By Friday morning he was off the oxygen, and his IV was out later that afternoon when he received his last dose of antibiotics. Providing his bilirubin levels were normal, we were told he'd get to go home the next day.

Now, technically, my 48 hour "normal delivery" stay should have ended Friday night. But my OB found a way around it (I mean, I did have a postpartum hemorrhage for pete's sake) so we could hopefully be released at the same time.

August 7th (4:30pm): We were ON OUR WAY HOME!!!! After a crazy first birthing experience, Max, Ben and I were on our way home to start our life as a family.

Off we go!

I am so grateful for so many things:
- A healthy baby boy!
- The peace that, even though he was in the NICU, I always just KNEW he would be OK.
- That we got to go home TOGETHER. I can not imagine having to leave the hospital without him.
- That, as crazy as it was, it was my FIRST experience- although I know it 'should' have been different, that craziness was all I knew.
- Our amazing families who were SO supportive through every part of Max's delivery and arrival.
- And finally, my unreal husband who was with me every second of every part of the experience. He jumped into Fatherhood with strength and ease, and has never been more handsome, tender, sexy, and PRECIOUS.

We are adjusting to life together swimmingly, and can't wait to share our lives with everyone!

Pictures!!!

2010-08-19T19:43:00.000-05:00

So I posted a bunch of pictures (and by a bunch I mean hundreds) on Facebook. Rather than taking a hundred hours to post all of them here, I'm putting up the links so you can peruse them at your leisure!

Max's Birth and Hospital Stay

Coming Home/Meeting the Doggies

Marking his many "Firsts" Milestones

Life with our Max

Max and his Doggies

Model Max (Professional Pics)

Enjoy!!!

Perspectives from Ryan...

2010-08-15T17:05:00.000-05:00

My brother wrote this post yesterday and it is just too sweet not to share.

He is an AMAZING writer, totally worth following if you don't already do so.

Enjoy Ryan's take on our new Max!

Of Nephews and Novels

15AUG20101 Comment

by PagingDrPoling in Current Events

What is precious to me?

One week ago, I met the newest member of my family: my nephew, Max. Barely four days old and far shy of eight pounds, he was as small a human being as I had ever seen. He flailed about madly, mouth groping blindly for a bottle. This tiny creature, too helpless to even support the weight of the brain that gives him his humanity, is my relative, my genes, my own flesh and blood, and holding him in my arms is at once a lesson in my strength and my weakness, my hope and my frailty, my helpless past and my as-yet-to-be-determined future. And he is my sister’s son. He is not a child that my older sister is babysitting; he is my sister’s child.

Few things have been clearer to me about my sister than that she is wired for motherhood and has been for as long as I have known her. She has always been a mother first and a sister second. (Thankfully she has learned, slowly but surely, to stop mothering me.) Children, younger brothers, high schoolers, anyone placed in her care, has enjoyed and benefited from her benevolent maternal glow. And this is no more apparent to me than when I watch her with Max. The grass is green, the sky is blue, and my sister was born to be a mother; these are the immutable truths of my world.

I have little doubt that my sister would call Max her most prized possession. He isprecious to her, and she is such a good mother because of her love. Psychology and theology alike have their explanations for why the mother-child bond exists (oxytocin or imago Dei, take your pick), but let’s just say for a minute that this bond arises because the mother understands, at a deep, preverbal level, that this child is an act of creation. My sister loves Max because Max is made in her image. That which she creates, that which bears her image, is precious to her.

But what is precious to me?

It is now quarter to three in the morning, and I have just spent the last hour or so reading through some of my old writing. I have a folder on my computer, appropriately titled “Writing”, that contains every single thing I have written since high school. All of my journals, all of my love letters, all of my research papers and reflections and ruminations, they are all saved digitally in this one folder. Someday when I tire of this blog, I’ll export its contents into a Word document and save it in my Writing folder as well (probably somewhere in the “Jots and Tittles” subfolder – I’ll explain later). For now, however, reading through my old school papers and half-written short stories brings me a deep and satisfying peace. These words are precious to me. Should I lose my Writing folder in a hard drive crash, I would feel as though I lost a part of myself (assuming, of course, that the two other hard drives and one online backup also fail). My Writing folder is my most prized possession. It cannot be sold for a price because its contents are made in my image. That which I create, that which bears my image, is precious to me.

I have yet to experience fatherhood (thankfully), and I have only begun to experience uncledom. I do know, however, that I am driven to create, and my creations are precious to me. Perhaps Max has inherited the penchant for writing that his grandfather and grandmother passed to his uncle. Perhaps someday he, too, will learn the joy of the written word and create an anthology all his own. What will be precious to him?

But that is a question for later. For now, his only task is to grow, fully nurtured by his mother’s love.

Max is here!!!

2010-08-13T18:31:00.001-05:00

My heart still skips a beat every time I realize I not only have a son, but that he is here and perfect and sleeping and pooping and eating and just making our lives amazing.

I will do a post on his birth story soon, but he will be demanding the boob soon and I want to actually accomplish something without having to come back to it later... thus a short but sweet post.

Max had his one week check-up and is in the 30-50th percentile for most everything- he's down to 7lbs, 5oz (down 4oz from his birth weight), but eating really well so Doc is sure he'll be back up and over in no time. He is just such a sweet little peanut!

Here are a few pics of our time together thus far:

Being burped by Daddy in the NICU

Meeting their new little brother

Titan helping Daddy with a diaper change

Waaaaay too big for such a little man!

First bath! He actually didn't mind it as much as this picture makes it seem :)

Introducing...

2010-08-07T13:56:00.000-05:00

Max Thomas Greeno

Born August 4th, 2010

at 6:47pm

weighing 7lbs, 9 oz

20.5"

THE LOVE OF OUR LIVES!!!

Baby Come On!

2010-08-02T20:51:00.000-05:00

Officially on baby watch! I am 1cm dilated and about 50% effaced... contractions are now 4-5 minutes apart... but I've been 50% since Friday and let's be honest, it's 1cm. I'm getting checked again tomorrow night so I will update!

SO who knows when this babe will come! I need to post pictures from the last couple weeks as my belly has surely decided to look mondo-preggo.

I officially have no leads on a job. I was at least hoping to have something in the works before Max arrived, but I know God will provide. In the mean time, I will simply enjoy our little family!

Titan turns 3 on Friday, so wish him a Happy Birthday if you think about it ;-) Hopefully Max will arrive before then so we can be here to celebrate with his cheeseburger and nuggets! haha

Until later...

Thoughts and Reflections on this thing called Pregnancy...

2010-07-21T12:12:00.000-05:00

As I was lying in bed last night (with a husband, two dogs, 4 pillows, a water bottle and a Popsicle), I started contemplating all the things that are pregnancy. I will warn some may think I'm sharing TMI, but I really don't care. It is what it is.

For nine (ten) months, a woman (and ONLY a woman Mr. "I'm a pregnant man"... no, you were a woman once. You don't count.) and her body endure quite possibly the most amazing journey known to man, ordained by God, starting with some good (albeit meticulously planned) lovin' at just the right time. I mean, that in and of itself is a miracle.

You find out you're pregnant and start rejoicing at the growing embryo (blob) in your belly. And then for many, you get sick. I mean, really sick. And not always "puke your guts out" sick, though that is known to happen in the oddest places- like the side of the road you just turned on, or the restaurant with NO ONE in it so ALL the staff hears you losing the lunch they just prepared. I digress. You get sick. Some (like me) couldn't look at a cracker in the face and end up LOSING weight. After nights of queasy-ness, eating saltines in bed with your (my) dog, being told you (I) look "green... pale... not good"... you wake up one day AND IT JUST STOPS. Medical miracle.

So then it's on to better days- perhaps you are waiting for that precious bump to start showing... not the, "I just ate a cheeseburger and have been eating donuts every morning for the past three weeks" bump... no, the tell-tale bump that screams "She MUST be with child!" People still don't necessarily ask about it as it's generally considered poor taste to comment on a woman's growing mid-section... but they know. You know. There is a BABY in there.

Then the countdown begins to find out what the sex will be (if you are so forward thinking as to find out). Some wait. I don't understand these people. I need to prepare, and I hate yellow, so the whole "Surprise!" thing is just not fun for me.

Anyway, so the appointment arrives, sometime around 20 weeks (because seriously, who measures in months? Come on people, get with the program). You arrive at your OB's office with husband, Mom (Grandma) and Dad (Grandpa) in tow, and they tell you you are not on the schedule. "I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood you. I AM finding out if I'm having a BOY or a GIRL today. Check again." About 3 nurses, 5 minutes, the threat of tears and one understanding ultrasound tech later, at last your are being gooped up with the blue ultrasound squishy gel.

Thankfully, your (my) child obliges and presents his man parts the second the radar-thingy lands on the belly (well, uterus). There is much celebrating, hugging, laughing, etc. as we come to terms with the fact our particular baby is a "Max".

The day has been set aside for celebrating, so after a nice brunch with the fam, you and your baby-Daddy embark on what is quite possibly the most overwhelming event of pregnancy- registering at baby stores. Ben was quite a trooper. I was a freak- running around with that little scanner gun like a pissed-off cowboy, shooting at everything I knew we HAD to have. Or else, you know, my child may cease to exist.

Around this time, you also experience what everyone describes as "flutters"... those first, precious movements that once again prove you are not just growing fruit in your belly. I have no idea why people say it's like flutters- it felt nothing like that. For me, it was more of a rolling-ish type feeling, like he was doing laps and kick-flipping each time he hit the edge of his "home". As time went on, these movements went from a soft, almost gurgling feeling, to full on jabs, kicks and punches most commonly felt in my ribs and bladder. At one point I was convinced he was playing a full drum set with my ribs as the bass drum, my general innards as the floor and rack tom, my liver as the snare drum, and my bladder and kidneys as the crash and ride cymbals, respectively.

Sometime during weeks 25-35 (or so), many women are blessed with a baby shower; a party where people show up to oooh and ahhh at tiny baby things, ask about your "symptoms" and discuss their own personal birth experiences. It is generally not a man-friendly experience. But there is lots of good food... a growing priority for this particular human-grower.

Towards the end of pregnancy, I have been fascinated with the ailments pregnant women are just expected to "put up with"... I have never experienced back or sciatic nerve pain like I am presently enduring. I could be the spokeswoman for overactive bladder syndrome. While they subsided briefly during my second trimester, my headaches and migraines have been some of the worst I've had in years. And lately, my Barbie-sockets (you know, the place where your leg meets your torso... where, on a Barbie, you can rip her legs off) hurt all the time, especially when I'm peeing (?!?!). Under normal circumstances, these ailments would be cause for general concern, medical intervention and even being sent to a specialist. During pregnancy, you are advised to take Tylenol, which I'm pretty sure has the pain-killing equivalent of a grape.

All that said, one gets to the point of no return- about 36 weeks- when you must come face to face with the reality of expelling a small watermelon from your now disfigured, strangely formed and aching body. Super. I get that women have been doing it since the beginning of time. But when one thinks about all of the fluids, blood, and humans that leave the body in mere hours after having accumulated for nine (ten) months, it is a bit baffling.

So here I sit, 3 weeks away from when the little circle chart thingy says I'm supposed to have this child. And after a couple days of observation, I will be sent home with a tiny, perfect HUMAN. He presently (finally!) has bedroom furniture, and some sort of decor in a room he won't use until he's at least a few months old. His clothes have been washed in the gentlest of detergents, his closet is impeccably organized, and his bassinet ready for his arrival in our room (much to our dogs dismay).

In three-ish weeks, I will have a child. A son. A Max. Reflections on such are, of course, forthcoming.

For now, I must pee for the 5th time while creating this memoir and prepare some waffles with peanut butter for my ever-demanding son's growth. I must battle with the razor in the shower as bending over is no longer an option; I must decide what to wear (especially on my lower half) as nothing is comfortable. I must nap in a position conducive to fetal health. And then I will probably pee again. Because I am having a baby. And I can't wait.

Weeks 34 and 35

2010-07-12T14:45:00.000-05:00

Week 34 (well, 34+2 days)

Week 35 (again, 35+2 days)

Nothing too exciting to report... I had another shower hosted by my beautiful Mom and Best Friend Liz. I'll post pics of that shortly.

Last week I staffed a Dance Camp- yes, staffed. As in taught. It was humorous at best, and actually a ton of fun!

Definitely not sleeping as much, but getting to take naps has been a life-saver.

Started looking at cars... really love the Jeep Compass...

And that about sums it up!

33 weeks

2010-06-25T19:24:00.000-05:00

Congrats to the St. Legers!!!

2010-06-24T22:11:00.000-05:00

Mandy, Nick and Big Sister Addison welcomed the Beautiful

Avery Vivian St. Leger

last weekend!

Born 6/12/10 @ 9:38 pm

8 lbs, 12 oz
20 inches

She has the most amazing chubby cheeks and is just so precious!

32 weeks and Max's stats

2010-06-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

So I had an appointment with my OB last week and they wanted to do a quick growth ultrasound. I was, of course, fine with that as I'll take any chance I can get to see Maxers. Everything looked good until they looked at how his measurements showed up:

Body/Limbs: 31.5 weeks (I was 32 weeks)
Head: 35.5 weeks

There were no other anomalies or markers, but my Dr. wanted to be sure everything was ok, so it was back to the high risk Dr. today. I love this office because not only is the tech amazing and you get to look at baby for a good 20 minutes, they have it projected on a big flat screen so you can see everything so clearly. My Mom was able to join me so that was also fun :)

Dr. said he looks great, everything is measuring fine- pretty much in the 50th percentile. His head is definitely bigger, but not anything to be worried about. The ultrasound tech said he already had a nice big brain, so it just confirmed that my son is as smart as I think he is :)

His stats are:
Weight- 4.7lbs
Length- about 19in
Heart Rate- 148bpm
My total weight gain- 17lbs

We were able to see that he already has hair (!), has pudgy little lips, and cheeks the size of Texas :)

For your viewing pleasure, here is my belly at 32 weeks:

Week 31 (June 9)

2010-06-12T22:42:00.000-05:00

Week 30 (June 2nd)

2010-06-12T22:40:00.000-05:00

Week 29 (May 26th)

2010-06-12T22:38:00.000-05:00

Let me show you how I've really been.... ;-)

Week 28 (May 19th)

2010-06-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

Yes that is a spot of water on my shirt in the first pic. No, I don't care.

The floors...

2010-06-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

Before:

Living Room

Dining Room into hallway

Max's Room

During:

Porch with all of our stuff!

Dining Room looking into Living Room

Hallway into Office

Living Room*

*You will notice on the right the nice plaster fireplace panel... we decided to take out the tile that was there and are exposing the beautiful brick inlay that is also from the original flooring.

After!

Dining room (shut doors lead to living room)

Hallway into Max's room

(Will post pics with furniture shortly)

And now we paint Max's room... at first it looked like cement gray... but once it dried it was the perfect light green we'd wanted!

Why my life is a joke right now.

2010-06-12T21:46:00.000-05:00

So where have I been?

Everywhere and no where... I will post more on this soon, but basically as of Thursday I don't have a job. I can't discuss details other than to say I feel like I have had a target on my back ever since I got pregnant, and after many attempts to try to get rid of me, Alcon *thinks* it found a loop-hole. It's a horrible one, and not valid, but that is all I can say as I figure all this out.

What it DOES mean is I lost all of my benefits (including that precious maternity leave), my car, my computer, of course my SALARY and right now, what feels like my pride. And really, who is going to hire a 7 months preggo lady... if you hear of anyone needing part-time help, even just for the summer, let me know!!!

SO NOW...
I will attempt to catch up in a few posts that will include:
Weeks 29-31 belly pics
New floor pics
Baby shower pics

Yipee!

Pics to follow... shortly-ish

2010-06-03T20:45:00.000-05:00

These past two weeks have been crazy... we had all the wood floors in our house sanded, stained and sealed, as well as pulling up the carpet in the front room and having those wood floors done as well. So now our whole main level is wood. The original wood. From 1925. It's unreal how beautiful it is and what good shape it is in. The house feels warmer, bigger, and I'm just so excited.

But now is the second half of the insanity as we had to basically move OUT... we now have to move back IN. And heaven knows I'm no good. Besides the fact that my OB put me on restricted lifting, etc., I've been having such bad back pain that I feel useless.

We did, however, have a great long weekend as we stayed at my parent's house over Memorial Day weekend while the floors were being done. I just love their house and it was so nice just to RELAX. A BIG thank you to my wonderful Mom and Dad for letting us (and Titan and Athena, whom my Mom is allergic to!) invade your house.

SO... I know I need to post weeks 28-30. As soon as our home computer with those pictures comes out of hiding, I will definitely post :)

Weeks 26 & 27!

2010-05-13T21:27:00.000-05:00

As many of my students have asked me recently, "Woah, when did you get pregnant?!?!"
I couldn't be happier :) I finally feel like I look "With Bump, not Plump" :)

May 5th, week 26

May 13th, Week 27

ALSO...

The most recent show I have been working on, Les Miserables, opens this weekend... and ONLY this weekend! This is seriously one of the most talented groups I've ever worked with... I so encourage you to come!

Shows are:

Friday @ 7pm

Saturday @ 2pm and 6pm

Sunday @ 2pm and 6pm

All shows at Huntley High School PAC.

Visit www.cytchicago.org for tickets and info, or just buy tickets at the door!

Double Digits...

2010-05-05T20:27:00.001-05:00

Take a gander up and notice the counter... 98 DAYS TO GO. There is something about being down to the double digits that just made me want to paint, build, clean, sanitize and launder EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE.

Is this what you'd call the "Nesting" instinct???

I will post belly pics on Friday as I am currently in Indianapolis for a Sales Meeting. Good. Times.

In other news, I have a growth ultrasound and glucose test next Monday. Let's start praying Max has a sweet tooth!!!

Finally, all you Mom's/Dad's out there: I would love any opinions (good, bad and ugly) regarding where we've registered... did you register at any of these places? How were they about returns/exchanges? Are you glad you registered here or totally wish you did not???
We are registered at BuyBuyBaby, Pottery Barn Kids, and Target... yes, we avoided Babies 'r' Us all together (thanks in part to Mandy's fabulous stories :)

I would also love recommendations on bigger/important items: do you love/hate your stroller/car seat/high chair? Was the more expensive, convertable furniture worth it? Or do you adore/loathe your Ikea stuff? What do I need that everyone forgets? What do I totally NOT need that everyone (ok, every book) says I should get? What monitor's do you have? And is the more expensive Medela pump REALLY that much better?

Tell your friends I'm asking... I'll take any advice, even the "(un)solicited views of a stranger" :-)

Week 25 and such...

2010-04-29T21:40:00.000-05:00

I'm extremely proud of my belly this week. Not sure why, I just think it looks nice and round and pregnant :)

April 28th, 25 weeks

Never thought I'd post a belly pic where I'd be PROUD of the flabberjabber! And I love the one looking down... just me and the Maxers.

This week I've been a Crabby Nancy. I think it's all the testosterone or something, because I can not seem to pull myself away from my little Pity Party. Between the insane amounts of construction I'm driving through, the sore foot, and just being tired I suppose I'm allowed to be a little moody right?

I actually started to feel a little better tonight after going to Ikea to look at furniture with Ben. I just really want to nest and prepare and fear I'll never have time :( And I have to go to Indianapolis next week for work Tuesday night-Friday, which I'm not really looking forward to. Ah well...

Enough of Crabby Pants, enjoy some sweet pics I took of the babies recently :)

formspring.me

2010-04-25T01:31:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/FITYMI

Weeks 23 & 24

2010-04-21T20:57:00.000-05:00

23 weeks, 4/14/10

24 weeks, 4/21/10

(No, I'm not wearing a bra, thankyouverymuch)

Because aparantly I like drama...

2010-04-20T22:18:00.000-05:00

Praise the Lord for the second trimester. Aside from some AWESOME (not) round ligament pain that keeps switching sides, I have been feeling GREAT. Work is going well, Ben and I are just laughing all the time, the weather is getting awesome, and Max is moving all the time now. Best. Feeling. Ever.

We still need to get out butts in gear and play some "musical rooms" to get the Max's room ready, but we have a plan in place... kind of.

So today I was finishing up my day at an office near Oakbrook. My left side is currently on rotation for being in pain so I had taken things a bit slower today. I was getting ready to throw my sample bag in my trunk and as I open the gate, a full case of Patanase (+/- 15lbs... maybe more) starts to teeter out of the trunk. I try to grab it and end up rolling my ankle in the process, only for the box to fall edge first on said foot that had just rolled inside-out. I didn't even really react because I've been so dumb lately I don't think I really believed what happened.

I was still near a Doc's building so I hobbled in and asked for an ice pack. The receptionist looked at me strangely until she saw my protruding belly and then quickly grabbed me one of those smack-packs that stays cold for oh, 12 minutes. It was kind of funny because she didn't really say much- just gave me the ice pack and asked if I needed anything else. I thanked her and said no, and then hobbled back to my car.

After about 20 minutes with the ice, it was still really swollen and bruising, so I called my OB because, well, that's what you do when you're pregnant I guess (?). They said to just run over to the local Immediate Care center and if they needed to do X-rays, it was fine b/c it was on an "extremety" (aka, a foot), and posed little to no risk to Maxers.

So I drove the 40 minutes home to the Immediate Care by our house and a pleasant (NOT) 2 hours later left on crutches and splinted up. The Doc said the radiologist wants me to go to an Orthopedic Doc tomorrow because they couldn't tell if there was a hairline fracture, but it's just serious enough that even if there isn't, I might need to wear an air cast/splint for the rest of my pregnancy because (as some of you may know) a side-effect of being PG is looser ligaments that, when injured, taken longer to heal. AWE. Some.

So I am now that preggo girl on crutches (who, consequently, tore a ligament in her belly because it did NOT want to stretch as fast as Max was growing).

So I say again, at least this crap is happening in my 2nd Trimester because I'm so darn mental I don't have time to care :)

Belly pics from weeks 23 & 24 tomorrow!

22 weeks

2010-04-07T22:18:00.000-05:00

Here are the 22 week pics... the doggies were being so silly, I had to include my "first-borns" :)

22 weeks, 4/7/10

That's Max???

"Athena, you've gotta check this out..."

"I don't like standing on the counter..."

Silly puppies :)

Max's Room

2010-04-04T00:11:00.000-05:00

So we've decided on a color theme for little Max, and I'm quite excited about it.

I am quite picky about room decorating and had the hardest time finding bedding I actually really, really liked. But when we were registering at BuyBuyBaby, they had just put out this new set and I instantly fell in love.

The design is called "Harlow" by CoCaLo Couture: Baby-

It's a lime/apple green with black, white, and cream/light green accents. I just love it so much and am excited with what we can do in his room. We've decided paint the room a "Cool Cucumber" color (think the inside of a cucumber, not the skin) and do white chair-rail and wooden boxing accents. And no, we will not be putting a chandelier in our son's room :)

Here are the baskets I made the other day:

And here is a little wall decoration thing. I found the Elephant with the little hooks at Hobby Lobby and then painted and glued "MAX" to make it personal :)

Also, since we've found out we're expecting, our friends and family have been so generous! Mandy was actually the first person to give me a baby gift: hysterical little onsie that says, "Are these people really my relatives?!", the softest little blanket and fun wrist rattles:

This was his first gift when we knew he was a HE (from my Mama and Daddy). It says, "Mom's Prince" on top and "Kiss Me" on the feet :

My friend Leann, who just had a little boy in December, sent the sweetest little Sock Monkey onsie and Trumpette sock set of little Cowboy boots:) The teeny shoes are from Ben's Mom:

Close up on the teeny shoes- the have a little plaid lining; so stinking cute!!!

I promise I won't post pictures of every gift I get, but it's just been so special to feel celebrated; we are so blessed that Max will have such great people in his life!

20 & 21 Weeks

2010-04-03T23:25:00.000-05:00

So now I'm going to do the shirt up/shirt down pics- in part because I think it's interesting, and partly because I actually think I look "better/more preggo" with the shirt down.

March 24th, 20 weeks

March 31st, 21 weeks

March 31st, 20 weeks

Either way though, Max is FINALLY starting to show. He has been moving around a bunch lately, which is such a unique and special feeling. Ben hasn't quite felt him yet, but I think he will very soon.

I've been in total nesting mode, more on the "create" side than the "cleaning-everything-out-and-up" side. I found these cute little wicker baskets and made liners for them to match Max's room (which, by the way, we've finally decided on... more on that later), made a couple "MAX" letters decorations, and made a little scrapbook for the ultrasound pics and my growing belly pics. I also got this little Belly Book to document the pregnancy- it's been fun to look back even over the first half and see how different I feel from then to now.

I still can't believe I'm more than halfway through- I was talking to my boss the other day and he was commenting about "Things we need to accomplish as I've only got a good four months left in the field"... I'm sorry, hmm? Four months... it takes me a good four months to clean out my closet and catch up on laundry- what do you MEAN I only have four months left?!?!

I've been getting more and more excited as time goes on, though, and am so grateful for the family and friends I have around me.

Little Max is already one blessed guy! Oh, and on that note, we've decided his official name is

MAX THOMAS

Just Max :) Not Maxwell or Maximus or Maxamillion (though some of my students have already named him MaxaTRILLION, which I think is pretty cute :).

In other news, Ben (Apple) launched the iPad today; look who got one of his very own:

He's very excited if you can't tell :)

Baby G is a Baby HE!!!

2010-03-17T22:47:00.000-05:00

That's right, little Greeno is a little man!

I had my 19 week appointment at my regular OB's office today, and when I scheduled it, my Doctor said I could have an ultrasound at my main office, even though I'm having a Level II at the High Risk office next week (I'm not really high risk, but with a few meds I've had to take they just send me there as a precaution). So I invited my parent's to come along and we were going to make an event of it.

Of course we had to wait FOREVER, and when they call me back I start walking towards ultrasound and the RN tells me I'm not scheduled because I'm having an US the next week.

"I'm sorry, hmmm? I've had this scheduled for weeks... my parent's are here... I didn't sleep last night because I've been looking forward to this day for months..." and so on. She frowned, and while I prepared the tears, she said she was going to go talk to the US tech. Luckily this tech and I are best buds so she says it's "No problem to take a peek at Baby G! Of course I'll do that for you!"

Tears were put back in storage.

So after my general check-up and blood draw, we all (Mom, Dad, Ben, Annette (US Tech) and Baby G) piled into the ultrasound room.

Literally the moment she put the transponder thingy on my belly, there was our baby in all of his boyness. Annette looks at me and goes, "Uh... Hello! What is it!?" to which I immediately respond "A BOY!"

A HUGE grin spreads across Ben's face, and my parent's are just looking at the screen like, "HUH? WHERE?!?!" We spent the next 10 minutes or so just looking at him move around and play in my belly. Annette was great pointing out all of his little features, including my Dad's favorite, the heart. It really is neat because you can actually see all 4 chambers working; we were just so in awe of this little life being formed in my belly.

So now... I can finally call him a HIM. And it is with great pleasure that we formally introduce:

MAX THOMAS GREENO

(We're still undecided if we want to do Maxwell or just Max, but either way he will be known as Max :)

And now the fun of registering and preparing for our little boy truly begins... I can't believe I'm going to have a son!

P.S. here are weeks 18 and 19... definitely can feel the belly starting to firm up and out... and am starting to feel little Max move around!

Week 18 (actually 18.2, taken 3/12/10)

Week 19 (taken 3/17/10)

Wednesday is (another) big day!!!

2010-03-15T18:27:00.000-05:00

Baby G will finally be known as a he or she this Wednesday! While I can't believe we are already to this point, I also feel like I've been waiting FOREVER.

Let's just hope Baby G isn't a jokester like his/her parent's and crosses his/her legs during the ultrasound.

We have been settled on a couple names for the past few weeks so there is a chance we will announce the name on Wednesday! No surprise, if it's a girl the middle name will be May; if it's a boy, the middle name will be Thomas. Passing on the family names :)

Can't wait to share the big news on Wednesday!!!

When Do You Grow UP?!?

2010-03-09T23:26:00.000-06:00

A gift my parent's gave me very early on was the ability to play- to stay in touch with my inner child and to realize that, no matter how old I am or what I've accomplished in life, I can always keep wondering "what do I want to do when I grow up". That's helped as I've moved into different parts of adulthood because I know that I can always go to moments of play and joy, and when I need to be an adult, I CAN because I don't have to stop playing.

Unfortunately right now, I'm not liking having to be an adult. I'm scared I have to stop playing.

Ben and I have had moments where we look at our life and think, "Oh, when THIS happens we'll feel grown up." And while many moments have been momumental and important, I don't know that there has been one that feels so big and life-changing as having a baby.

It's causing me (us) to look at things in our life that need to change- some are good and feel beneficial, like nailing down a budget and becoming financially "awesome" :) I've also been reflecting on work and how to be a passionate and purposeful employee in all of my roles, soon-to-be Mom included. And some are super hard, like realizing that I have NOT done my part in training Athena and my poor husband is at his wits end, wondering how (and IF) he can handle two dogs and a little person. (By the way, any suggestions from those that have two dogs and/or know of great training facilities, PLEASE let me know.) I can't imagine getting into an, "It's me or the dog" conversation but I fear it's on its way there. And I'm overwhelmed with relationships- there are so many people I want to get to know better, so many I want to see more, and I find myself feeling guilty because on the other side, I'm so tired and scared to be let down or not be a "good" enough friend that people will stick around that I just pull away or retreat because it's easier. But I NEED relationship- I thrive when I know and am known well.

Regardless of how good or bad these decisions will be for us, it's just hard to think about the responsibility that comes along with no longer being just "us". Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled beyond belief and know I will not be able to imagine my life without our peanut when he/she arrives. But I've got 9 months to ponder how nothing will ever be the same again.

I've got to be honest... I'm terrified. I'm so damn selfish, which has been "ok" thus far; but it's not about me anymore, and that scares the crap out of me. What if I can't do it? What if I keep old habits and neglect my poor child? What if my precious baby girl dog threatens to "ruin" my marriage? What if I don't want to give up Starbucks and manicures? I kinda just want to throw a little tantrum and go in the corner but guess what- the baby will keep growing in my belly and will arrive in August whether I'm pouting or not.

So my goal/desire/NEED is to figure out how to be the best ME, the best US- as best I/we can- so that this sweet little life is nothing less than a blessing and absolutely NECESSARY part of our lives. I know I can do it. I'm just really, really scared.

Weeks 16 & 17 and Kristin Gets Married!

2010-03-05T13:28:00.001-06:00

So I finally have a little puff! Yipee!!! I'm also starting to get the round ligament pain, but I'll take it because it means belly/baby are growing!

Week 16 (2/24)

Week 17 (3/3)

And I'm a little late posting these, but on 2/19 our friends Sean and Kristin got married at the beautiful Hotel Baker! I didn't take nearly enough pictures but you can see the light-up dance floor and beautiful bride. We sat on the upper level with my bff Liz and hubby Nathan- we were out of control :)

Beautiful Bride Kristin

Ceremony

Mr. & Mrs. Hogan!

Liz, me and KristEn :)

At dinner

Liz and Nathan

Amazing dance floor :)

Migraines, Migraines Go Away...

2010-03-01T18:35:00.000-06:00

I promise I will post belly pics on Wednesday for weeks 16 & 17... until I get more puff I'm just going to do it every two weeks. Alrightythen.

So recently I've been blessed with migraines again. When not PG, I actually take a preventative medicine because they are so bad, but obviously can't with Baby G in the oven. The first trimester was pretty easy regarding headaches/migraines. But then again, I was so sick all the time I may have just not noticed. Anyway, it seems like the day I hit 13 weeks they came back with a vengance... and whoever in their right mind thinks Tylenol does anything is seriously disturbed. After trying a couple different things I finally went to see a Neurologist. I'm not sure why I haven't done this in the past seeing as I've been getting them for 13 years, but I digress.

While nothing new came of the appointment, I all-of-the-sudden just feel so much better about what I can and can't take and the simple fact (as the Dr. said) "I'm not making medical history". I have migraines. And it sucks. And there is medication that usually works... and when it doesn't I go to the ER. That's it. Oh, and while I'm PG, they will probably be worse and there are some things I can take then... and if not, I go to the ER. No biggie.

It's not like it's a new revelation, I guess it just felt good to hear from an expert- someone who knows about all the meds I've ever taken that do and don't work for me, and all the meds that are safe to take right now; and the result, just as if I was a Type 1 Diabetic, is that I have to do things to manage it. They probably won't go away. And that's ok.

It seems small but it just made me feel a lot better.

In other news, we find out what we are having on March 17th... I AM SO EXCITED!!! I think it will get here quickly because on Sunday I leave for training in Texas and am there all of next week. And then before we know it, it will be the week we find out! My parent's are coming with because they've never seen a 'new' ultrasound and they just love that stuff :) I'm excited to get to share that with them (and of course Ben!).

Until Wednesday...

3 Years?!?!

2010-02-23T22:58:00.000-06:00

I can hardly believe we've been married for 3 years... and while time has flown by, it also seems as if we've been together forever... we kind of have considering we dated for 6 years before we were married, but still.

I am so greatful for Ben and know that in this next year, I am going to get to see a whole new side of him as a Daddy- a role I know he will (and already has started to!) take on with grace, humor, strength and love.

No matter what we go through he is and always will be my best friend. I truly don't know what I'd do without him.

I love you Beno, Happy Anniversary!

For Mandy (among others)

2010-02-17T15:43:00.001-06:00

November 29th- Day we found out, barely 4 weeks

December 1st, 4 weeks

December 11th, 5.5 weeks

December 19th, 6.5 weeks

January 11th, almost 10 weeks

February 4th, 13 weeks

February 17th, 15 weeks

Why No Belly Pictures?

2010-02-15T17:55:00.000-06:00

For a few reasons:

1) Our desktop crashed and that's where the pics are. Luckily I'm sleeping with a guy who works for Apple so it's (recently) been fixed.
2) I've been so dang busy/sick I can barely remember to eat and do my JOB, let alone post pics.
3) I don't have a belly :( Seriously, I am not showing at all. I guess I thought that by week (almost) 15 I'd have some sort of a puff, but really, it just looks like I maybe ate one too many donuts on any given day.

However, I promise that I will update with pics this Wednesday when I officially hit Week 15.

Stand by...

Tales of Pregnant DipSh*t

2010-01-18T17:05:00.000-06:00

So today, I get through my morning and decide to drive though Starbucks because the baby needed a sandwhich. I place my order and I'm three cars back, so I go to grab my wallet. You know, which lives in my purse. Which I forgot at home. It took me more than 3 hours and actually placing my order to realize this.

In true P-Lady form I start crying, not sure if I should just pull away leaving the Sbux people to wonder if they halucinated the order I placed, pull up and see if I can leave an IOU (?!?!?), or at least just apologize. At lease I had 3 cars in front of me, giving me time to not be able to make up my mind but to try and get it together.

I pull up to the window and just loose it. "I'm so-soo-soo sorry... I ju-just realized I left my pu-purse at home". Im not sure if it was pity, apathy, or an act of God, but the sweet lady at the window just said, "Don't worry about it, we already made everything. Try to have a better day!" and gave it to me for free.
I then proceeded to bawl about how kind she was and how I didn't deserve her sweetness.

And I still dont have my purse because, well, I'm in Naperville and sure as heck ain't going back home to get it.

I think this is God's way of trying to teach me I'm on the verge of total and utter lack of control... start embracing it now...

B-A-B-Y spells hormones.

2010-01-07T22:22:00.000-06:00

I'm pretty sure I'm a moody bitch. I don't mean to be, and in my "moodiness", I just wish someone would explain to Ben that I'm not a psycho, horrible wife... just... pregnant.
Ugh.
In happier news, we told our family over Christmas with a cute little card using these pictures. (Thanks to my BF Liz for taking them!)

SPELLLLLSSSSS....

!!!

Baby Greeno is on its way!!!

2009-12-26T23:08:00.000-06:00

I'm so excited to announce that we are expecting our first (human :-) baby August 11, 2010!

Yes we were trying, and it happend on the first try. Seriously. Just call me Fertile Myrtle.

Right now, I'm basically "seasick"- crazy nauseaous but not really throwing up... and TIRED. So, so tired.

Additionally, I have the weirdest food cravingings. Not that the food is weird, it's just a lot of food I MUST HAVE IMMEDIATELY. For example, the other day after I'd gotten home from work, I NEEDED grilled cheese. But not just any grilled cheese sandwhich- I needed DELI American Cheese (mind you, I don't really EAT American Cheese) on TEXAS TOAST or ITALIAN BREAD. Either was fine, it just had to be thick, white, bad-for-you bread (and, of course, I never eat that either).

Also, I will want something so bad for a couple days (peanut butter was a culprit recently), and then a few days later, the sight of it makes me want to vomit profusely and violently.

And the cravings will change without notice- I went to lunch with my friend Mandy and as we were deciding the night before where to go, I HAD to have California Pizza Kitchen. I woke up the next morning and just the thought of the letters "CPK" sent me into comic-like convulsions.

Entertaining at best, but none the less I am GRATEFUL because these symptoms mean I AM PREGNANT. So for now, I'll take 'em.

Please enjoy a pic from my first ultrasound, when they were checking to make sure there was only one in there... apparenty my HCG levels were tripple what they 'should' have been, so my Doc wanted to verify.

Yes, it's a dot. But I can tell you this much- I've never loved a little dot with so much passion and emotion as I do this one. :)

Yes Please...

2009-12-19T22:46:00.002-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Ups and Downs

2009-12-06T00:24:00.000-06:00

Strange how life can give so many ups and downs so quickly, and with such deep emotions on either side.

I'm choosing to be thankful for what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I will do...

Choosing to trust the reasoning behind any and everything that I'm given and any and everything that's taken away.

Life is a gift... I will anxiously await with HOPE and ANTICIPATION.

No words. Just. So. Funny.

2009-11-25T23:33:00.000-06:00

2009-11-16T19:43:00.000-06:00

Oh man... I can't believe I haven't posted in a month. I'm ALWAYS ontop of this blog .

We have not been "out" of dog food for almost a week, and therefor just feeding them wet food, rice, chicken pieces, etc.

Finally, I did not track down a black with pink lettering North Face at 4 different Dick's... I also do not giggle like a child every time I walk into Dick's. I also did not giggle at that previous sentance. I'm totally mature.

What did YOU "not" do this week?

Not Me Monday is Back...

2009-10-12T23:01:00.003-05:00

Ever feel like you just spent more time looking at and thinking about how to clean and organize your office/laundry/mail/dog/etc. than it would have taken to actually just DO it? Then join me in revealing your beautifully perfect imperfections.

I did not squeal with delight this past week when I realized Monopoly was back at McDonald's... I'm constantly eating healthy and have been limiting my fast-food budget.

Additionally, I did not eat 8... umm, 10... ok, 12 Rolo's in bed after I had brushed my teeth, and then let Titan munch on one of the wrappers. Besides bad oral hygiene, foil is bad for dogs and I just wouldn't go there.

I also did not, while teaching some of my dancers a great stretch for their hip flexibility, say, "This will be useful for all stages of life," under my breath. I then did not check to see if they had actually heard me, and upon realizing they had not, start laughing hysterically to myself. Poor judgement and bad humor is not funny. I am totally appropriate. Always.

Want to join in? Share your, "Not Me's!!" in my comment section or do one on your own blog page!

It feels so good to be honest now doesn't it?! :)

Happy Birthday to the Man I Love... and such

2009-10-08T20:54:00.005-05:00

Ok, so it's two days late... but we've been celebrating the past few nights :)

October 6th is a beautiful day in my world... it marks the day when, in 1983, the most amazing man came into this world and from there forward, I (well, since about 2000) get to celebrate his awesomeness.

So to my handsome husband who is an amazing friend, wonderful doggie Daddy, partner in crime and the absolute love of my life-

Happy Birthday Ben!!!

In other news, the new gutters are up and look AWESOME (new levels of cool have been achieved on our part :)

Ben's been loving his his job at Apple (visit him! It's the store in Naperville). It's been such a blessing to see him in a job he's not only awesome at but also loves with a company he's truly passionate about.

I'm still loving my busy but full schedule- High School Musical opens the end of the month and runs until November 9th- click on the link for tickets!!! I'm the "Directoreographer" (Assistant Director/Choreographer) for this one and Athena will be making her official debut as Sharpay's puppy... she has half a dozen outfits, a glittery leash, and her very own picture and bio in the program!!! It will be exciting on so many levels!!!

Fall is in the air... this is my favorite time of year... love!!!

Home Ownership at its Finest!!!

2009-09-28T10:16:00.005-05:00

We're finally getting new gutters on the house today after wanting to do it since last Fall...

Is it weird that I'm giddy about it? That, even thought it's not a "remodel" or vacation or something I'd usually be ecstatic to spend mucho $$ on, I feel like having a House-Warming party for the new gutters?

That I want to create "Meet Our New Arrival!" announcements?

It may be time for us to have kids...

In other news, my bestest Liz and hubby Nathan and my pseudo-nephew and niece are flying in from Cali TONIGHT. I can hardly contain myself.

Joy joy joy joy joy.

Hi My Name is Anna, how is your septum?

2009-08-23T22:37:00.008-05:00

So the last month has been a whirlwind for us...

- The opening (and then closing) of West Side Story (to date, the most amazing production I have ever been blessed to be a part of).
- Ben's training with Apple and subsequent opening of the Naperville Mainplace Apple Store!
- Preparing for my two weeks of Alcon training in Ft. Worth, TX.
- Lauren (Ben's sister!) graduated from SIU!!!
- We cashed in our Clunker and got a sweet, supped-up Ford Focus (yea eco-car!).
- Getting ready to start Choreographing/Assistant Directing High School Musical for CYT McHenry!
- Titan turned 2!
- Ben diligently working on his degree with the home stretch in sight!
- Present state of earning my mini-PhD in nasal, ear, and ocular anatomy while IN Texas (only one more week to go!)

In other news,
- I am NOT pregnant, thankyouverymuch.
- Athena learned how to jump off of the deck (as in, the fenced-in deck).
- Ben got his hair cut.

And now in honor of my 6 year anniversary of being with the Disney College Program, I leave you a little Princess love...

West Side Story!!!

2009-07-16T06:28:00.006-05:00

Back in 2000, during the Fall of my Senior year, I had the unique privilege of being in the Illinois All-State Production of West Side Story. It was truly one of the most formative experiences of my creative life and an absolute honor to represent my school as a Jet Girl :-)

This year, Broadway unleashed what can only be called a stunning revival of Jerome Robbins' and Bernstein/Sondheim's classic work that won numerous Tony nominations and features Karen Olivio, who won the Tony award for her role as Anita.

And now, this summer, I have had the honor and privilege of being involved in one of the finest pieces of work I believe CYT has ever done. Late last spring we opened auditions to all of our students aged 14-20 from every county (in the style of an all-state show) and cast 50 of the most talented kids in Illinois to put on this amazing, timeless production.

Get your tickets NOW (I'm not kidding, it will be next to impossible to get them at the door!) to any one of our six performances by clicking here or calling the box office at 847.516.2298:

Friday, July 24th @ 7:00pm

Saturday, July 25th @ 7:00pm

Sunday, July 26th @ 3:00pm

Friday, July 31st @ 7:00pm
Saturday, August 1st @ 7:00pm
Sunday, August 2nd @ 3:00pm

All performances are at

Huntley High School Performing Arts Center

13719 Harmony Rd.

Huntley, IL 60142

This truly is a don't-miss experience. Let me know what show you are coming to... I can't wait to see you there!

Is it wrong that this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen?

2009-06-22T23:47:00.004-05:00

Just wait for about 1:10 in where he "connects" with the remote... this is unreal, and I'm not sure why I'm posting it. But alas, I hope you experience the rolling laughter than Ben and I enjoyed.

Has it really been a month?!?!

2009-06-17T14:02:00.013-05:00

Yes, and what a month it's been! I am officially working for Alcon Laboratories as an Allergy and Otolaryngology Representative (Specialty Eye and Ear division)... a.k.a., I sell allergy and ear meds =) I AM SO HAPPY!

This is not to say it has not been a crazy, busy, hectic, feel-like-I'm-back-in-college-and-getting-a-mini-doctorate month, but Alcon is an amazing company that not only cares about its employees but truly cares about the people we serve and the products we bring to those people.
I am still getting used to my territory as its totally different than my old one (I now have Naperville/Wheaton/Joliet/Hinsdale/St.Charles/South Bend/etc. as opposed to the upper 1/4 of Illinois) and that in itself is a challenge. I've been to Ft. Worth, TX for a week of training and will go back in August for another two weeks, but hopefully then I won't get stuck there an extra day because of tornadoes and flooding... there's no place like home...

Things in E-town are good... our friends the Novelli's welcomed beautiful Abrielle Emma on June 1st. Big brother Angelo just adores her and they are such a sweet family of 4 now!

The Treu's welcomed Brady Alan on May 30th(the surprise of the year because up until his birthday, his name was "Charlotte"... we're working on the returns now!) First time parent's Danni and Brent are holding their own after Brady almost didn't make it at birth- boy or girl, Brady, we're soooo glad you're here!!!

And finally, my best friend Liz and her hubsy Nathan welcomed Kiana Joy on May 22nd. Big brother Andre thinks she's just awesome and I have to throw in there I hate they live in Cali. Note to self- find a way to get to Redding, CA at once. When I was at the hospital within an hour of Andre's birth, it's been killing me that I have yet to meet this sweet little girl.

Needless to say, it was a month of babies!!!

And in our little home, Athena had her spay surgery and is doing just fine. She also had her umbilical hernia fixed as well which left her with a grand total of 14 stitches and a shaved belly to boot. She could care less.

So that's what going on with us... I'll leave you with a funny pic of our little girl. A similar picture has been entered in the Cutest Dog Contest at Pet Pals in West Dundee (on Main Street/72)- if you get a chance, stop by and vote for Athena!!! If we win, we get a gift card to the store which helps BOTH our pups!!!

Amen.

2009-05-07T01:20:00.002-05:00

What a Pretty Little Princess!

2009-05-04T22:39:00.002-05:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

I've always wanted to be an Angel...

2009-05-04T22:31:00.002-05:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Beauty and the Beast

2009-04-05T22:26:00.004-05:00

FRIENDS!

In case you didn't know, I am choreographing Beauty and the Beast for McHenry County's CYT. Doing this kind of work reminds me what I was created for; it sets my soul on fire and brings such joy to my heart. As a former CYT student and performer, it is also an honor and privilege to give back to an organization that gave me so much.

We have an amazing cast (and I'm truly not just saying that), fabulous sets and costumes- friends, this is going to be an awesome show. For those of you with younger kiddos, this is a great way to introduce your young'ns to live theatre as the show itself is only 90 minutes, has an intermission (potty and snack break!), is full of fun, colorful, and lovable characters, and let me tell you, the musical numbers are killer (what, it's true ;-).

Tickets sell out quickly so I want to make sure you all get yours NOW by clicking here, or calling the CYT box office @ (847) 516-2298.

Show dates and times are as follows:

Thursday 5/14 @ 7pm (Family Day)

Friday 5/15 @ 7pm

Saturday 5/16 @ 2pm & 6pm

Sunday 5/17 @ 2pm & 6pm

Additionally, we have school day shows on Thursday 5/14 and Friday 5/15 at 9:30am and 11:45am if you have or know of a school group that would be interested in coming. You will need to contact the CYT office -847.516.2298- for info on purchasing school day shows.

Again, you can click here to order tickets online; I know May seems far away, but tickets sell out fast- why not plan ahead and we'll make a day of it!?!

I can't wait for you to "Be Our Guest"!!!

I need a little encouragement...

2009-04-02T22:40:00.003-05:00

I've been going back and forth between feeling so grateful for things lately- my job, our home, Ben, Titan and Athena- to just feeling down. Like nothing I do is ever quite enough.

So as short and straightforward as I can, I'm asking, really more like begging, for some encouragement. You don't even need to write anything... a prayer, a thought, a giggle...

There's so much more to life than me, and I know that. I'm even encouraged to know that you're praying for Stellan

or reaching out to one of your friends who might just be hurting... because there is more to my story, to why I'm hurting; while it's not worth going into right now, just know, I'm not the only one.

Love each other. We get by with a little help from our friends.

This is amazing

2009-03-28T00:42:00.002-05:00

Praying for Stellan

2009-03-25T18:26:00.003-05:00

Not like you all need something else to read, but I've been following "MckMama's" blog for just about a year now and what a story...
Poor little guy, who was not supposed to even survive to birth, was born a healthy bouncy boy and suddenly is now in very serious condition with a similar heart condition he had in the womb.
If you think about it, say a little prayer for their family and for this little fighter tonight.

Too good to NOT post

2009-03-06T20:55:00.001-06:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

They are so Bad Ass

2009-03-06T20:44:00.001-06:00

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Here she is!

2009-02-26T15:56:00.002-06:00

Finally! Here are few pictures of our little Princess...

They looooove to snuggle, and it's so darn cute.

Matching vests. I know, I'm a dork. Imagine how my children will feel...

In a bag. As you can see, she clearly loved it.

There will, of course, be many more to come, but I could not wait to show her off!

2 Years!!!

2009-02-23T10:20:00.002-06:00

Just wanted everyone to take a little look-see at our "love tracker"- 2 years! I love you baby, with all my heart! Being married is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together!
MUAH.

New addition!

2009-02-22T11:26:00.002-06:00

I'm excited to introduce the newest addition to our family:
Athena Aphrodite born 12/14/08
Her dad was a pug/chihuahua and her mom was a pekingese/shih tzu.
She currently weights a whopping 3.2lbs and is freaking adorable.

I'd post pictures if I hadn't been a moron (as mentioned in previous posts) and converted our photos to the new version of iPhoto that we DON'T have. It's on its way friends... just you wait. It should be here by Monday or Tuesday and believe me, there are plenty of pics to post.

Athena and Titan are hysterical together. Besides the fact that she is 1/8th his size, they love to wrestle, run and yell at each other before settling down for a little snuggle. They are already the best of friends and we couldn't be more relieved!

I'd forgotten how much puppies wake up at night to go potty though- it's like having a baby! Actually, I'd forgotten how much they just need to go potty in general. Ah well, it gets better eventually. Thankfully, she is already potty trained to go outside. Seriously. We got her from a group called Bullies and Friends and she'd been in a foster home. The "foster parents" had been working with all the pups on going outside and she's great at doing her business in the backyard. WHAT A RELIEF.

She has a crazy story in that she and her brother and sisters were taken from their home by Animal Control (as were their mom and dad). The children were also taken from the home by DCFS. The puppy's mom and dad were unaltered and the family just keep breeding them over and over. Luckily, all of the puppies and their mom have been adopted now and the children are with relatives. Unfortunately, the dad had been kept on a chain, tied to a tree his whole life and could not be rehabed. We are just so greatful we found our little girl-she is such a wonderful addition to our family!

I can't wait for you all to "meet" her soon!

Listen to your body

2009-02-01T17:48:00.005-06:00

Mine hurt last Sunday... after the pain went to my belly and right side, we decided to wait it out but with caution. After trying to go to work, trying to sleep it off and trying to "drug it away", we finally went to the ER Monday evening around 10pm...

I was in surgery to have my appendix out at 4:30am Tuesday morning.

It was laproscopic, so the incisions are tiny, but they went in from the left side so my entire belly (and right ribs as they pushed "insides" up into the ribs) have been sore and slow to heal.

After returning home and making recovery camp on the couch, I was SO glad I'd taken all the Christmas decorations down that previous Saturday. I could just imagine being stuck on the couch while left-over Christmas stared down, taunting me to put it away and laughing at my inability to do anything but stare back.

I still have another few days off work if I need it, and knowing how I always try to do too much too soon, I think I'll take advantage of the extra healing time.

I leave you with a phenomenal gadget I found in my time of recovery... thought it was real until I realized it made coffee... take a few moment to play and enjoy The Pomegranate.

It's been far too long...

2009-01-25T23:32:00.003-06:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've updated...

I hate updating without pictures, but that will take a bit as I messed up our iPhoto; I wanted to try and view the picture collection on our desktop with the new version of iPhoto. Ben has it on the new laptop he got for Christmas, so we opened both computers for sharing, and it seemed like it was going to work! After converting the pictures on our desktop over to the new version (which, by the way, is SO cool), I was editing and playing like a crazy woman... until Ben disconnected his computer. Duh. Copyright infringement. Now we can't do ANYTHING with the pictures on the desktop because they've all been converted to the NEW version of iPhoto, which we DON'T have yet and have been too busy to buy.

Too busy as in:

- Just after the New Year, my manager decided she wanted to ride along with me for two days, causing me to get little to nothing done work-wise (and around the house, as I was still recovering from bronchitis I had over Christmas/New Year's). Riding with a manager is like preparing for a quarterly review. It's not bad, just draining. Additionally, I was preparing for:

- Our National Sales Meeting January 12-15 in Orlando. 4 days of non-stop meetings, little sleep, and company outings/"parties" that are supposed to be fun but end up leaving you tired and hung over the next day. I will say I just love my co-workers and had a blast with them. We kept each other going with our private games and laugh sessions. :)

- The day I checked out of my NSM, Ben, Drew, Leslie, Craig and Melissa flew IN to Orlando and we had a fun-filled and EXHAUSTING Disney vacation. 4 parks in 4 days, Extra-Magic Hours and half-a-dozen rounds of Space Mountain was amazing... and I need a vacation to recover.

- Rehearsals have also started for the high school I choreograph for. Normally one day/week rehearsals were Wednesday and Thursday this past week (after we got back Tuesday night) because, as mentioned above, I was out of town.

- Did I mention my REGIONAL Sales Director e-mailed me last Saturday (while I was in Disney) to let me know she'd be riding with me this past Thursday? No pressure.

And now, poor Beno has been quite sick these past few days and I'm scared I'm coming down with his achy-feverish-flu-thing. Luckily, though, I was able to get all of the Christmas decorations down this weekend (don't judge me, I've been sick and busy!) and at least feel like our house is in order!

Pictures to follow once we get our act together and buy iPhoto. Thanks for letting me rant.

Around our House...

2008-12-10T12:14:00.004-06:00

Christmas is not only my favorite holiday/time of year but I think the person who designed our house 80 years ago did so just for this holiday! I've been having so much fun decorating and making our little house a Christmas wonderland... here are a few pics around the house:

Our Tree

"The Stockings were hung by the chimney with care...."

My little tree I made for my nightstand.

The garland that wraps around the entire dining room...

It has little secret family tokens hidden all throughout... doggies, ballerinas and music notes!

I'll put up some more later as the season goes on!